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Black Athletes, White Lovers… Do You Care?

Bradon Jacobs (RB NY Giants) & Wife


Venus Williams & Hank Kuehne… raised in Compton, CA she is now one of the most famous athletes in the world… where is her King?

Update 5.19.09 – I must say that the responses to this post have been powerful… thank you all for your opinion and your passion. I came across a couple interesting posts regarding Russell Simmons (Hip Hop Mogul) and his friend Julie Henderson (Model). Give it a read and share you thoughts… here is the post about Uncle Russ & Julie. Then there is something written by Uncle Russ’ ex-Katie Ross.

Julie Henderson & Russell Simmons, Katie Ross The Ex

Julie Henderson & Russell Simmons, Katie Ross The Ex

On November 4, 2008, America elected a Black Man as the President-Elect of the United States of America. This historic event has caused many  Americans (especially w/in the Black Community) to examine many issues surrounding “race” that have been either taboo or only talked about honestly when one is in the midst of their own ethnic group. We felt that we should be no different at Urban Sports Talk & Entertainment… so we are asking you to give your thoughts about “race” as it relates to Black Athletes involved in interracial relationships.

I decided to pen this post mainly because of a conversation I had with my cousin recently. Given my background as a former football player, he wanted my perspective on Black (Male) Athletes dating White Women. He just cannot understand how these athletes are raised in Black neighborhoods, attend Black (k – 12) Schools, worship in Black Churches then go off and leave Black Women behind. His challenge to me was to defend that reality for those athletes.

I didn’t care to provide an excuse because I don’t believe a person’s decision to date someone of another ethnicity is shameful. What I did talk about is how a Black Athlete’s circumstances can lead him (them) to make certain choices. Many of which were never available prior to him/her being highlighted for athletic prowess.

David Garrad (QB Jacksonville Jaguars) & Family

For instance, the vast majority of Black Athletes are removed from Black areas when they are given scholarships to attend White Colleges. This is the initial step towards assimilating into the Majority Society. For many Black Athletes, this will be their first time attending a class as the minority student. He/she will be living around tens of thousands of non-Blacks for the coming years as they are being trained to play sports at a high level. His/her world view is being shaped during this time as he/she is experiencing independence from parents, family and their community. It is during this time when they are frequently socializing with many diverse groups of people which they will ultimately be influenced by for the years to come.

My cousin wasn’t impressed and didn’t want to hear that lame excuse as he called it. What are your thoughts? Are we passed this issue or should Black Athletes be challenged for their decisions to date outside of their race?


273 responses

  1. N-sight

    Your observation to the situation is very insightful. Although I agree with your cousin to the extent that you don’t just lose your sense of who and what you are in a few years of playing ball. I noticed they are still wearing the same style they came out of the inner city and urban areas wearing. These brothers are bombarded by white woman and they simply get lost to the booty. Like the guy said in the movie Tequila Sunrise, “You only get to pick your friends. Family and Women are not your choice” Where the nicer looking/Fine sisters won’t pursue anyone and don’t have to, where white ones will,tenaciously. Secondly, the women above both look Hispanic, which is another thing all together. They are not the Blue eyed Blonde haired type. They are just this side of Red-boned. Both are not bad looking its just that there are a WHOLE LOT of sisters who look better! When these women either put in enough time to get half or start to crack from age we will see what’s up.
    Venus was never really immersed in the community from the start. Serena on the other hand….if she crosses then we have to say HMMM?

    December 16, 2008 at 1:09 am

    • AMP

      N-sight, thanks for jumpstarting the conversation. However, are you for or against Black Athletes being in relationships with someone of another race? Your comments seem to straddle the fence. Or does it even matter?

      December 16, 2008 at 7:45 pm

      • victoria

        I understand that this is still a topic of interest and still met with much hostility. You made an insightful point on the issue, unfortunately not to slam your cousin, but he still has a backwards view. The point of equality is acceptance and in order to progress in a society that has for a long time been bounded by segregation ,so why fight fire with fire. We don’t live in the 1950’s anymore or by restrictions which minorities have fought so stongly to derail so why try to impose prejudice views when people fought so hard to abolish it. As long as people try to play the victim card change will not come, because you simply cannot convince stubborn ignorant people otherwise. I feel strongly about the topic at hand and to be frank am extremely tired of this stigma againest interracial dating, I am a Hispanic woman who is dating a Black man, he used to played football all throughout college. Contrary to the belief, I don’t only find black males attractive, have previously only dated hispanics, am also concerned about preserving my own culture and did not persuade or manipulate my signifigant other, he persued me. Basically, those who are simply and uneducated and ignorant will always find some sort of opposition and will never be satisfied with the FREEDOM that entitles us to live the way we chose, essentially they are being hypocritical, why try establishing segregation when the very same people fought to abolish it.

        November 20, 2009 at 7:22 am

    • eurogal

      why cant you black people just admitt that white girls look better!!!you find all these excuses….but its simple-attraction….maybe brother would rather have girl with FINE hair and SMALL nose, and LIGHT skin….
      P.S. there is NO SISTA that look better than Kim Kardashian or Megan Fox….there is no black girl who can top white girl-evver,,,just admitt that…
      Only if she doesnt have african features, which again means that she is mixed…..
      so stop finding excuses…..
      go online and check who is sexiest woman alive, and i assure you, she aint black….lol
      I understand these guys….when them move out from ghetto, they actually see pretty girls…they are used to those baby mamas with fake hair, big noses and dark skin…
      I dont blame them:)

      November 15, 2009 at 11:42 pm

      • Kirby

        Eurogal, attraction is on a personal level; you can’t just claim that white women are the most attractive. Some people prefer caucasian features and others prefer african features and others prefer something else.

        Also, think about the examples you are giving. Kim Kardashian got implants to make her butt bigger. Aren’t big butts stereotypically african features? Furthermore, glamorous and beautiful african women & latino women are hardly ever seen on TV, so how can you claim Kardashian and Fox are sexier than all african women?

        Keep in mind this is all coming from a caucasian man who finds african features much sexier. Attraction is on a personal level. Just because I prefer African features doesn’t mean EVERYONE does. Think before you speak.

        Plus, Diana Ross is way prettier than Kim Kardashian or Megan Fox could ever hope to be.

        November 16, 2009 at 1:09 am

      • thetruth

        Right EUR-A-ignoramus!
        Im actually curious to know what you look like. presumably your a Caucasian female, but that fact you have been as ignorant to reduce one whole race to being unworthy as for having tighter hair, or different features such as big noses is the most wildest and ironically hilarious comment of ignorance I have come across on the net! Congratulations for being a grad A Racist! 😉 It is your opinion that Megan Fox as beautiful as going under the knife has made her or Kim Kardashian who yes is all straight hair and light skin but technically Amerindian (get your map out if u have one!) is the epitome of beauty! Your generalizations have taken us back 50 years! Opinion wise, I could just as easily say Beyonce is more beautiful-mixed race yes, but then there is Naomi Campbell full black or the ivory ebony SUPERMODEL Alex Wek! Its sad that you’d take any of the multiple fickle sexiest women alive lists as gospel! Had you of been eduacated any where other than the redneck faschist school you were, youd know that countries around the globe and cultures everywhere have different views and ideals of beauty. You also still find a number of non-whites with considerably large features that do not render them unattractive-big noses, big lips,etc.
        Secondly, You wont find the number of black women anorexics you find with whites, black women going under for butt implants, -dont even get me started on tanning!!! So the issues you indeed have and fail to acknowledge with your own race should be one of question and call for review.
        I could carry on but I imagine there is little space for your tiny mind to comprehend this, take a mirror any mirror and sit and look in that mirror and pick out your best features then after the intoxication of your own deluded beauty just think..nothing can compare with the vile ugliness you speak and think.

        November 26, 2009 at 2:32 pm

      • Shamma

        As crzy as that sounds.. that is the reality of life-
        Why would an athlete or anyone for that matter pick a toyota when the can get a mercedes- spanish women and some white women and mixed women are top picks… most dark girls are nott. so why would athletes not go for the best they can get.. please .. for those who get mad… get over it.. there is such a thing as a certain race been better looking then the next ..( get over it)

        May 2, 2010 at 11:54 am

      • Marc

        Tough guy I would love to reconstuct your face and give you a large lumpy nose and lips.

        1st of all scientifically we all biologically originated from an African being!

        2nd all Africans do not have big ;ips and nose features. All over Africa North, South will find people who are 100% African with small lips and nose features and maybe some with small gluteals. We can tell from the ignorant comments eurogal you havent traveled far from that trailer park, LOL!

        3rd I dont have all the answers, so can someone please answer my questions on why ???? whites make it a daily routine to go dark their skin sun tanning??? Why do the white culture spend millions of dollars anually to the surgeons to have fuller lips and bigger gluteals. Oh and lets not forget penis enlargement, LOL!!!!!!

        Also, one last thing I want to put out there it usually not the black seeking out the white woman, Becky usually take all of daddies money to go off on her long journey to find her mandingo king.

        May 30, 2010 at 7:00 am

      • Anonymous

        Give White Women 5-10 years and they look like Black guys Mothers! White girls only have ten good years before botox and face lifts. Guess if that’s what they want, that’s what they should get and look forward to.

        May 24, 2011 at 9:53 pm

      • DeeAnna

        Wow you are really not educated in any way are you? you really need to read this back to yourself and maybe yuo will realize you seem to have the IQ of an Ant and thats an insult to the Ant I assuure you. estupido

        January 14, 2013 at 1:13 pm

  2. Jimmy

    You’re an idiot. The very President elect you mention at the start of your story is the product of a black man and a white woman.

    December 16, 2008 at 1:45 am

    • AMP

      Jimmy, take another minute to read the complete post… I know you’re probably a busy guy, but you may miss some details if you don’t read the whole thing. Other than that, thanks for leaving an opinion and I hope you keep checking the site out.

      December 16, 2008 at 7:34 pm

      • Dre

        I will way in on this as a former collegiate athlete but not one that has spent a significant time in the pros I can offer a perspective. I think that your cousin made a point and I think you gave some great insight as well. Your cousin said that he didn’t want any excuses but one thing is funny and people miss this fact. Just because something is an excuse doesn’t mean it is not true. For instance if you leave for work the same time everyday getting there on time. However on this day you get in ana accident or get a flat tire and you are 10 mins late. Your excuse is that you had car trouble but it happens to be the truth.

        Do I believe that this kids are introduced to new people, a new life styles and new interests… yes. I think this goes a long way of influencing the way people develop socially into adulthood. The problem comes in when a black athlete believes he/she has made it by dating a white woman or man. The problem comes in when that is that person’s standard dating practice, to exclude your race and only date others. I feel if you are just as open to dating others as you are your own race as long as they share your likes and values… there is no problem in this. I fell if that’s the frame of mine then every thing is on the up and up.

        November 12, 2009 at 2:39 pm

      • JimmyChitwood

        Two points:

        1. President O’Bama is bi-racial. His Father was African and his mother Caucasian from Kansas. He’s half ours too.

        2. I was imagining the Same article written with a switched headline: “White Athletes, Black Lovers–Do you Care?” with the same points included. It would never be allowed to go to print.

        3. Racism isn’t exclusionary to White Folk. Welcome to the Rest of The World. We’ve Been Waiting For You.

        January 7, 2010 at 6:57 pm

  3. Graham

    It’s sad that people think it matters, or should matter. If you’re happy then that’s what’s important. If I went out and said “White people should only marry/bone other white people.” that would be ridiculously racist. Same applies in reverse. It’s 2008, not 1908. Tell your cousin to grow up and start progressing with the rest of us. You’re definitely right that it should still be talked about. It’s the only way for people like your cousin to begin to change their mentality. (I’m sure he’s an ok dude otherwise ;))

    December 16, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    • AMP

      Graham, we appreciate your comments and the thought process behind them. America has a long road to travel regarding the issue of race… it just needs to be something we aren’t afraid to talk about any longer.

      December 16, 2008 at 7:42 pm

  4. Why do we even care when people date outside their race? I love how one of my friends puts it when she sees an interracial couple: “There goes Dr. King’s dream.” Unless we start challenging everyone that dates outside their race, we need to drop the whole athlete issue. If someone loves a person that’s outside their race, that is fine by me. So they have a little money (or in their case a lot). Make your own and date who you want. My only issue with interracial dating comes if a person dates outside their race because they feel those within the race are beneath them. You know how some men will say I don’t date black women because they all have attitudes or a woman will drop brothers because she says they all have records. But that’s some deep self hating issues they need to deal with themself. Otherwise l say love whoever you want, be they red, yellow, purple or green.

    December 18, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    • KTB

      That is not love, that is a paycheck! The only one on there that could be love is Venus and Hank. He is a pro golfer and has his own money, unlike the others. As for the Kim girl.. she is making her way off of her dad’s money.

      July 4, 2009 at 2:33 pm

  5. REALNewsNetwork

    Thanks UST&E for the interesting post. Interesting, because you penned it the same week that the issue surfaced in a most dispicable way in terms of the snubbing of Coach Gil Turner of Buffalo for the headcoaching position at Auburn. According to a journalist from ESPN, Turner was denied even the consideration of the job BECAUSE he is “in it” with a white woman. Now, consider the irony here, which is of course astounding…Turner, who like so many black athletes, caught, what I call, “The Nicole Syndrome”, with the thinking that he was in love with this white woman, who apparently was suppose to boost his moral and stature in white circles. Now he finds himself ‘penalized’ by the very gatekeepers of the establishment he has desireed to belong to throughout his career – being rejected by white men for having a white woman. How’s THAT for irony?

    Despite the fact that the reasoning for his rejection is completely ludacrous and has nothing to do with his outstanding qualifications, he finds himself STILL outside the circle of white inclusion and acceptance of which he longs to indulge.

    I find it more than curious that almost EVERY black male, (and now even female) athlete hooks up with white mates. Moreover, I find it even more curious that your readers, who pose themselves as “open-minded”, conveniently fail to ponder why this phenomenon of so-called, “true love” doesen’t work in reverse….

    In other words, if white male athletes of prominence – or even mediocrity, for that matter – were finding themselves (exclusively) attracted to black women, then this conversation would be moot…right?

    To posit that black male athletes who ONLY love white women and ONLY date white women is genuine love is as ridiculous as Turner Gil’s delusional thinking that his marrying one would somehow enhance his worth and stature in life. The “white girl” as prize and trophy is as old as Jack Johnson and the insane self-hatred that was his mindset. The tragesy is that it is here to stay because unlike you, there is not the desire for self-awareness, self-respect, self-determination, or self-preservation.

    In a world where all things are equal, a world without RACE or racism, this conversation woulf indeed be moot – and no one would prefer that reality more tham me. But that’s NOT reality…..

    Reality is that with or without a (so-called) (b)lack President, the overwhelming majority of wee-folks are stuck in the muck and mire of self-hatred….with no signs that wee will ever be worth anything white women or white men determine wee should be.

    Bear in mind that the “Black Doll” test from over 50 years ago, was replayed two years ago with the same pathetic, self-loathing results. If those who resoponded above want to be taken seriously, then they will have to learn to study and remark from points if insight and knowledge, as opposed to their mere, “feelings”…..The issue of the Black Male Athlete (or so-called successful person) and the white woman is far deeper than a feeling of “Love”….I contend that it’s exactly the opposite.

    If you don’t believe me, refer to the Doll Test…There’s all the proof you need!

    December 22, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    • ReallyReal

      It is quite interesting that you assumed the intentions of Turner Gil marrying a white woman were to be enhanced in the white society when it is well known (a REALITY you may call it) that most people, especially rich white people, look down on interracial dating. The fact that you see whites and blacks as two different species makes you as racist and ignorant as white folk who share the same view. The REALITY of it is that those who are able to cross that boundary and ignore the social stigma that comes with interracial dating are much more respectable than those who post on blogs judging them for it. I agree not only that it is none of our business, but also that those who post anything regarding WHY someone falls in love are ignoring the fact that it is NOT just the black community who divorces has a 50% divorce rate, it is not just athletes who have this problem. It lies in the institution of marriage, the lax attitudes we all have toward our own opinions, and the inability of most couples to maintain a marriage and a contract. You, sir, not only assumed that Turner Gil is with a white woman for a social reason, but you failed to realize that only in lower class circles is it acceptable for this to happen. I would hope that you would think something through before spreading your ignorance, but it appears to be up to those with a brain and a REAL check on reality to do so.

      July 23, 2009 at 2:19 am

      • JimmyChitwood

        Don’t get me wrong. Black Women are Beautiful. Absotively Beautiful. But Honey Child, They are Too Loud in the Movie Theatres. Quiet Down When The Movie Begins, My Strong Proud Round Bootied African Queen!

        Love and Kisses:
        Whitey WhiteFaced Cracker Napkinhead

        January 7, 2010 at 7:01 pm

      • Anonymous

        geez, what an idiot your are. your posts could be a billboard for the kkk. if you were making 20 million a year, I would marry you, and TAKE ALL OF YOUR MONEY.- GET IT.

        March 19, 2013 at 6:25 pm

  6. Criag

    What is incredibly amazing is that this dialogue continues as if there were something new to contribute or examine. The issue of black athletes dating and marrying white or other non-black people is not new or shocking. It exists and will continue to exist based on the simple fact that as their fame and notoriety grows, so do their bank accounts. When the black athletes acquires wealth that most had never imagined coming out of their particular circumstance (read ghetto), their envioronment immediately changes. They are feted at exclusive parties and events where the guest lists do not include “you know who”, black women, of course. They are catapulted into the lifestyles of the rich and famous, jet-setting to exotic locales and adored by thousands of ticket buying, club seat owning “you know who’s”, not black women.

    The result is an intoxicating mix of power and status, even as illusory as it is, it is far more than they have previously experienced. The masses of people eager to feed the egos of these demi-gods, our larger-than-life sports heroes who begin to believe the myths themselves. This makes them more than attractive, actually irresistible to the privileged class accustomed to this arena, and heavily populated by “you know who”, it’s certainly not my black sisters!

    The first order of business, guided by the ever-present agent, is to move to an exclusive neighborhood or gated community, then the insulating process begins. The next move is to get his/her mom out of there, so there’s no guilt about going back to the hood. The athletes “rep” the hood, but none are interested in living there. Hell, they grew up there and worked incredibly hard to escape. Anyone who grew up in the hood and experiences a measure of success is in no hurry to return to from whence they came (not even your lyin’ ass LOL). Once you escape the tentacles of poverty, despair, hopelessness and hunger there is no eagerness on anyone’s part to live through hell again.

    Why do they cleave unto these women? Because that is what their reality becomes. Go ahead, argue that a real brother would still go back and get his “down-ass” queen, and count on your right hand (or left) how many hold true to this coda. The comments by REALNewsNetwork are both prophetic and true, but far to deep for the most to fathom that the psychology of marrying outside of your race is rooted in self-hatred (oh, I can hear the howls of protest now). But those very same howls are rooted in self-denial, ain’t that some s@#*!

    Do I have a personal problem with this phenomena? No. It does not directly affect or impact my life. I just find it interesting as an observer of the human condition. Here’s the harsh reality: take your ghetto star, move her into a multi-million dollar home, lavish her with diamonds and furs. Then put her in charge of arranging a dinner party at your estate for 250 of your closest and richest friends. Watch the results and ask yourself: who would you rather have on your team?

    December 26, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    • African-Ameirican Prince

      You comment is a very biased and offensive comment…you act as if all black women one: come from the ghetto..which they don’t jackazz..two: the very same brothers that you are refering to are often themselves from the very same ghettos…so how is it that they get some pass for not having the best social skills…which many of them do not by the way…but your post is a gross generalization of what black women are like…if you like white chicks just say that…but spare us all the bs. about black women…in reality most women know how to put on-throw together a dinner is a natural thing for them…if you had ever gotten out and dated more than one type of woman than perhaps you would know that…the whole upgrading to a white chick is bullshit…stop spreading stereotypes!

      Ps: all white girls don’t come from upper class middle America..and even some of the ones that do often have some serious issues!

      July 15, 2009 at 8:41 pm

      • GREG


        September 1, 2009 at 5:27 am

    • ReallyReal

      I completely agree with African-American Prince that you are racist and completely out of touch with the same reality you preach about. Your idea that a person (or athlete even) could have a taste for lighter skinned women because they think they’re pretty and can actually stand them is both ridiculous and hilarious. Ironic that preach reality and the reality is…you don’t know. How can you “observe the human condition” when you yourself are so far detached from it that your tainted views exude the very ignorance, impotence, and digressive thinking that apparently embodies your thinking. Again, I would be glad to dispell your ignorance as just that, ignorance.

      July 23, 2009 at 2:59 am

  7. Kim

    Again, reading the original discussion lead – and all the way through at that…it still needs to be reminded that when Obama was elected in November, we the people elected a black/white man to the highest office. I said to my daughters who are interracial, their father being a black ex-NFL ball player, and Superbowl ring recipient, that their true brother is now in office. Someone just like them. Someone who won’t call them Hillary Banks, and who gets their issues too. Why are we still drawing lines folks? My question is who says it is wrong to have a United Nations dating each other, marrying each other and building together? I agree with the earlier post that my girls, Barack Obama and his children and many many others are the beautiful products of Martin Luther Kings dream.

    Further, in reading your posts, as this is the first time visiting your site, it occurs to me that you are bitter and very angry. Why? In regard to Ty at the UW losing his job, we saw that handwriting on the wall whether he be black, white, red or purple, dude was not winning. When we don’t win the dawgs start barking, and we all know what it means at the end of the day when you’re not a winning coach. Granted he took on a failing program to begin with but come on guys, he did have a few years to get his recruiting act together. He didn’t for whatever reason, so to pull the race card is ridiculous. We need to stop this nonsense. Ty and his family were well liked in Seattle. And well respected, race simply had nothing to do with his job coming to an end.

    Your posted articles are just so angry and I wonder if Barack Obama the man you hold up as an honorary figure led his campaign like you are here, whether he would have gotten very far. We need more people like you but spending more of your energy on the positive things that need to get done in society.

    Can you just spin your content a bit more positive going into 2009? Please. Stop the angry fight. It’s over. It’s played out and we all need to work together..I cannot wait to see your response to this post. I am hoping it won’t be negative. Thank you.

    December 29, 2008 at 3:36 am

  8. AMP

    Kim – thank you for visiting USTE and I do hope it won’t be the last time. Your perspective is perfect for the discussion and it’s truly respected. I ask that you read our post again because it appears that you may have missed the fact that WE don’t care but felt the issue should be talked about. The President Elect has done much for America, but there is still a strong undercurrent of issues surrounding “race.”

    It is uncomfortable for most people to discuss… we want to deal with those issue here and we’ll continue to ask our readers to join in the debate.

    I also feel you missed the mark in regards to Ty W. at Washington. You cannot reference me stating that Ty shouldn’t get fired. I’ll go on record and say he should have. I’ll debate how Notre Dame shamed itself by getting rid of him 3 years into a 5 year contract (they never fired a coach early), but UW is correct in moving on. That program is terrible.

    Our issue with the NCAA is that they have a horrible percentage of Black Head Coaches (see “State of The Black College Football Coach ‘08: NCAA Disgrace”). That cannot be denied in 2008 when 50% of the players are Black and there are 6 out of 119 Black Head Coaches at these colleges/universities. I’m not about defending an underperforming coach, I am about challenging the systemic failure of an institution like the NCAA in promoting and hiring qualified Black (also Women, Latino, all Minorities) Coaches, SIDs, Presidents, ADs, etc.

    The ironic thing about your post is that there is little daylight between your point and our perspective. USTE isn’t bitter in any regards… how can we be when we have people coming by reading and voicing their opinions. Click on “About Us” and read what we are all about…

    December 29, 2008 at 4:58 am

  9. ccc

    I used to think to each their own and all that nonsense but after talking to several young black men that have impregnated white girls my eyes have been opened. Nearly all of them said that black girls are this and that mostly negative yet when it came to Miss susie it was she does all these things for me and how much they love them. I was shocked and sick at the same time literally. I have to admit that this ridiculous cycle needs to finally be addressed and dealt with white girls are hardly better and many of these young men have been unfortunately brain washed and suckered. It was so sad to see them running to basically trailer trash leftovers from the poor white neighborhoods that they got these females from. It almost turns my stomach when I see black males with some of the most unattractive and pale white wenches that they parade around in the hood they get absolutely not respect from me. It is so past time to check these ignorant black males that are disrespecting themselves and our communities with this stupidity. Just stop it NOW PLEASE. ENOUGH.

    January 9, 2009 at 5:03 am

    • Victoria

      Do you like being stereotyped? Does it anger you when you hear stereotypes such as “ghetto, uneducated, bitchy”? I doubt it because their falsified just like your generalization. Since were pulling the name calling card and obviously generalizing based on your fabricated point of view coming from only your own peers and friends then your view is not legitimate. I’m curious what other resource do you have besides “what you’ve been told”, how about a real statistic, that would be a start.

      November 20, 2009 at 7:41 am

      • ccc

        Victoria you have a slight point about the what Ive been told part but keep in mind these are individuals that i have been around alot. I know people say certain thigs to make themselves look good but lets keep it real there is some truth too this. I know from my own experiences on white girls that exclusively date black and how they brag etc etc. This goes hand and hand so in other words Victoria just face it. A segment of our brothers think that white is better it is brainwashing and it is validated even today among our youth. Still thinking that white is better is sad and in reality quite pitiful.

        March 7, 2010 at 2:13 pm

  10. Anonymous

    I think black women are jealous when they see a black men with white girls

    January 23, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    • Anonymous

      I couldn’t agree more. If they weren’t suffering from their own deeply entrenched sense of inferiority, it wouldn’t bother black women to see a black man with a white women. Why would they care?

      July 28, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    • Anonymous

      who the fuck is going to be jealous of all these cheap white women who like dating apes.. lol give me a break apes

      September 13, 2011 at 12:41 am

  11. nate

    i stumbled across this website as i was searching who the new packers db coach was, and i have to say i am very excited about that. then this caught my eye. ‘black athletes/white lovers…should we care?’ i am a 23 year old caucasian male serving overseas in the military. i am very excited to see what obama will do as our president. not because he is black, or half black, or other than white, its because he is the complete opposite of GW in terms of what he thinks is really important. more than half my friends here where im stationed and back home are of a differant ethnic background than me. i dont even notice it. the only time i notice people being a differant race than me is when its thrown in my face. i think the media and people from an older generation than me hold a lot of the blame for racism. stories like this one, or of ‘tony dungy being the first black coach to win super bowl’ or people freaking out about obama, saying crazy things like ‘slavery has officially ended’ is what makes me notice ethnic background. now granted i am white, but i am not rich, i am not from a good background, ive had it plenty rough in my short lifetime. i think there are a lot of people from my generation who couldnt give a damn what skin color people are. but when stories come around like this, it kind of concerns me and it gets old. now by no means do i think you are for racism or are racist. this is just something that has been on my mind.

    January 27, 2009 at 7:39 pm

  12. cc

    I understand what the white brother above feels however I cant take that comment I dont see race thing you should see race just like you see gender and thats a good thing. Not seeing something does not mean that it gives you a better insight NOT. Now as far as It gets old exactly what do you think that means to black americans that on purpose are put inferior positions. I as a black man have to stay in tune with my community and WHY its in the position thats its in and make changes accordingly. All the white people that wish that racism would go away and how they dont see color and why dont blacks get over slavery and that its the older generation etc. For once look at these factors if within the black community there are still constant problems in employment, education, housing etc. Then you have to also understand that the background to this is from current racism that keeps blacks in large numbers as second class citizens and thats just the truth. I being black cannot ignore these factors just because it makes some whites uncomfortable so what this MY COMMUNITY in the area of black underachievement. I dont want a color blind society cause then it would be bland and generic we must understand that many blacks dont know their history and therefore are doomed to repeat it. Just because you have ethnic friends means what to me it dosent change the logistics of why people are in the position they are in. Not seeing color lets many whites off the hook in reference to their guilt and or the fact that they are in the position due to being white. I hate to tell the gentleman above but I dont have that luxury.

    February 3, 2009 at 11:16 am

    • JimmyChitwood

      CC: Reverse the Heading in the Story: White Atletes and Black Women: Do You Care? You’d correctly think that the article was written by the KKK, right? Because only someone afraid that the blending of white and black is going to elminate the race—which is why the KKK is against race mixing.

      You say things like you have to stay in tune with my community? The KKK says the same thing.

      You say you can’t ignore these factors (race mixing) just becausee it makes some whites uncomfortable? The KKK agrees with you. They say the exact same thing.

      Not seeing color lets many whites off the hook? The KKK agrees with you again. They hate to say it too, because this race mixing, it’s just as much a concern to THEM as it is to YOU.

      Congrats, CC. You and the KKK have more in common than you ever would have believed.

      January 7, 2010 at 7:12 pm

      • ccc

        Jimmy where in the hell are you getting that from that my comment puts me in tune with the kkk that is absurd and makes me wonder what galaxy you are from. You think that comparing my statements to the kkk you are watering my factors down for your benefit. ? Well guess what I will not let you do that actually instead of saying uncomfortable I should have said see the truth from a black perspective. Can you do that jimmie or let me guess you are white or a wanna be black man that hates yourself. Please the next time you abate me in a context such as this forum please check your damn facts and climb off your high horse cause truth be told the saddle has ridden far up your ass.

        March 7, 2010 at 2:32 pm

  13. jeannette zoomer

    I am a (white) woman, 55 years old, living in the Netherlands, Europe. My 3 children are from a black (afro-ameican) fathe and I am proud, very proud to be there mother. Altough I am divoced for a while I neve ever egred anything. As a mather affect. I would not have done anything ndiffeent. It’s just that I think back man are more attractive then white. Everybody has the right to date and married who ever he/she wants. I have always learn my kids to proud of who they are, how they look. And they are. In the Netherlands it’s a coomon thing to see inerracial couples, black man/white woman (also blonds)and vice versa. My youngest son is attractive to middleaest/brzilian type girls, his brother likes indonesian, spanisch and black girls. And my daughter likes all types of people with a preferance of guys who look like Lenny Kravitz or Shemar Moore. Let everybody be happy with who ever they see.

    February 21, 2009 at 8:15 am

  14. pasty white guy

    I am a white man who has been dating a black woman for a awhile and the most uncomfortable we have ever felt has been when we visited the US (as we live in the Middle East). Imagine the kind of looks we would receive from people because of the color of our skin. I hate to admit it but in my experience, the worst looks normally have come from the black community who would not accept that a black woman would want to be with a white guy. I came across this blog for the first time and it reminds me why i get those looks. Yes there is a legacy of institutional racism in America’s past, yes many minorities have suffered endemic disadvantages across all levels of society but change happens, people progress, and we move on. We humans have endured discrimination, and inequalities since we first civilized ourselves and history is filled with instances of people rising up against such oppressions, changing the very fabric of the society that once rejected them. There is no better example of this than the African Americans & the United States. Remember there are many of us white Americans who were also proud on the day that Barack Obama was sworn into office. It was a great step forward, for all of us. Perhaps one day race will not be the primary focus for so many, like the readers of this blog.

    February 22, 2009 at 2:57 pm

  15. Sonya

    WOW! It’s still amazes me to see how “bothered” people are about dating someone of the opposite race. People say they are ready to “move on” but it doesn’t seem to be the case for a lot of people. I too believe that people should be able to date whomever they wish as long as they are happy. I do agree that a lot of athletes purposely elect to date/marry white women, but it’s THEIR CHOICE! I think many times we as black women think if the marriage fails it because of “the white girl” but who’s to say it’s not the “brotha’s” fault? Hmmm…. I am married to a black guy but that’s NOT to say that I would have NEVER dated someone who was not of the afro-american race. I think good guys come in all shapes, sizes, and COLOR! Just a thought!

    February 22, 2009 at 3:20 pm

  16. Anonymous

    Who cares?

    February 25, 2009 at 10:21 pm

  17. LaanaLaine

    Few people actually realize or want to admit to how racist black people are towards other black people. As a dark complexioned black woman, I know this firsthand. The black community in the United States and abroad is EXTREMELY ill with colorism and self-hate. In recent years, black men have taken to publically raking black women over the coals, attempting to humiliate them by making degrading comments about their African features/hair. Lying about their attitudes and etc., to somehow attempt to justify and cover-up their racism towards the women of their own race. Quite pitiful. Are there genuine love relationships being formed between black/non-black individuals.. ofcourse there are. Are there black people who seek out non-black men/women to date/marry/procreate with due to self-hate, you bet your a** there are. Would I, could I participate in an interracial relationship… hell no. It’s defintely not for me.

    March 1, 2009 at 4:14 pm

  18. LaanaLaine

    “I think black women are jealous when they see a black men with white girls”

    You may come across some jealousy, but for the most part, no… most black women who see a black man hand in hand with a white woman are not jealous of the white woman.

    March 1, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    • KTB

      just like black men are when they see black women with a white man. so, make up your mind!!!

      July 4, 2009 at 2:44 pm

  19. Anonymous


    March 5, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    • KTB

      The point is, you don’t see them with poor black men!!!

      July 4, 2009 at 2:46 pm

  20. Anonymous

    Kim’s white. You going on and on about her mixed heritage does not for all intents and purposes change the fact that she is viewed as a non-black woman. I don’t want to say that I don’t have any issue at all with interracial dating as that would be a lie. I tend to congratulate black women when they date white men but have an issue with black men doing the same. I know its a double standard but I’m trying to figure it out.

    As far as Reggie and Kim. That man went on about why he loves black women in an article in Essence. I assure you that we will never see him with a black girl again.

    March 6, 2009 at 8:47 pm

  21. Anonymous


    March 7, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    • ccc

      I am all for love and all good stuff however often times that is not the case and there in is the point of my comments etc. The main point I am making is blacks that are attracted and pursue white only and then generalize and disrespect their own. You would have to be stupid not realize that these relationships exist as in a member of a certain race hating themselves and having a preference for another. I dont have to argue any farther on this cause I know its true. Cause if its love you would never have a need to do that.

      November 25, 2009 at 3:04 am

  22. jacka

    Well I am a black woman.
    I am a black woman and I love black men but so many dont love me. Many white men treat me well. They dont call me bitch, they appreciate my beauty,intellect, and spirit.The ones I have been with take time to get to know me and often do things to please me.For example, several have helped me to feel able to achieve in this cruel world. While I know life is about choices,(and I made some bad ones like everybody else), I feel white men love me back.This is just my experience.Most important, I do feel black women have cultural limits that keep them bound to poor examples of men and these men happen to be black.

    March 9, 2009 at 10:55 pm

  23. Anonymous

    My mother said that many black men treat white women with the same disrepaect that they treat the black women: We all remember OJ. So I expect chris brown to get a white girlfriend he can beat on next cause she wont tell until it gets out of hand.

    March 9, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    • Che.

      Rihanna didn’t tell until it was out of hand either. She was beaten black and blue before she sought out help.

      Don’t try and make it seem like white women in domestic violence situations are “weak” or “stupid”. It’s a horrible place to be and many women, white, black, asian, brown do not know where to turn, or what to do. Many fear for their lives. Do not trivialize this fact, by making jokes about “white women” letting themsevles get beaten because of their so-called vow of scilence.

      May 14, 2009 at 10:55 pm

  24. Ladyleo

    Well i think that kim kardashian loves her some choclate i mean after that sex tape with ray j duh!!!
    shes sprung off that choclate

    March 17, 2009 at 6:27 pm

  25. BLY

    I can’t believe this is a real debate. Who cares? Date whatever color you want, whatever sex you want … whatever makes you happy. I am a white man with a daughter (she’s a red haired, blue eyed, Italian) .. the ultimate question is “would i care if she came home with a black guy?” the answer is no, as long as he is a good guy. If she came home with a good guy, who treats her right, whether black, white, puerto rican, asian …martian, i’d be happy. If he’s an asshole, no matter what color, I’m gonna have issue. I’ll admit I still notice interracial couples, but who doesn’t “notice”. We aren’t there yet, at a place where people are completely colorblind. I notice when I am the only white guy in a group, and my black friends notice when they are the only black guy….but we joke about it. I call myself a drop of milk in a bucket of chocolate. People will always judge, and there will always be ignorant people, the goal is to whittle those people down, until their opinion is so minute that others don’t waste their time appeasing them.

    March 18, 2009 at 3:16 pm

  26. Shelby

    Does race really matter as much as some people imply? Sure, the two people may come from different traditional backgrounds but the only other difference is their skin colour – and is that ‘weird’? Is it ‘bad’ that Reggie Bush is dating a white girl and not a black one? If you think it’s weird, as yourself why, because from where I stand it’s a good thing we all don’t think alike. My boyfriend is Jamaican and I am Irish, and although my family was skeptical at first, they got to know him and have accepted that he is a great guy and is no less of a person because he is black. Please, give these couples a chance + some respect – it’s hard enough being an interracial couple here in Canada, I can’t imagine what it’s like for them in the states.

    March 19, 2009 at 9:15 pm

  27. Becky

    I am a white woman married to a black man and we are so happy together. We’re both athletes. Although we each grew up surrounded by people of our own Color, our decision to date and finally marry was never based on our ethnicities. Instead, we have similar interests, strong faith, and are deeply attracted to each other. Many times we have discussed that when we look on each other, we don’t see that he’s a gorgeous milk chocolate color and I’m a soft peach color, unless we actually focus on our skin. He sees his faithful wife and I see my strong husband.

    I encourage all on this blog to allow celebrities, athletes, musicians, factory-workers, military members, and all other people to simply live their lives; allow them freedom from your gossip and Color concerns. Allow Reggie and others to date a beautiful white woman with as little fanfare as there would be if he was dating a black woman. Allow Venus to date her white King with as little fanfare as there would be if she was dating a black King. These people date based on similar interests, attraction, and for all of the other reasons why normal people date! Believe that when we begin to NOT react to such couples we will finally be healed.

    March 27, 2009 at 12:56 pm

  28. des

    wow…i think people need to grow up and just leave people alone. Would we care if the person was broke, hell naw. Kim K. is fine as hell and (i am a straight woman) and if reggie loves her cool. I am going to date who the hell i want to and that is what i am going to teach my kids. if we keep conversations up like this the racial issues will continue on FOREVER even after making a monumental move as electing mr. obama. and i loved how someone pointed out that obama himself is a beautiful product of a interacial couple.

    March 31, 2009 at 12:41 am

  29. Fergie

    Just to make it clear, Richard Jefferson`s wife is from Trinidad, she is not WHITE!!! I`m a Black woman and my husband is Japanese!!! Why is this a problem?

    March 31, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    • NO

      The problem is you having zero loyalty toward your people, BITCH. See this bloody picture right here?

      Showing some respect toward your ancestor you moronic BITCH.

      September 26, 2009 at 10:26 am

      • Kirby

        Your argument is based on one of the most idiotic and juvenile ideas. People don’t have an obligation to have loyalty to their ancestors, ESPECIALLY ones who aren’t even related directly. I’m white and my ancestors never had slaves but if they had, should I show loyalty to them and hate blacks? You shouldn’t support someone simply because they have the roughly same color as you. That doesn’t mean shit. Use the brain God gave you and think before you open your mouth and spew out a ridiculous argument that you never even came up with yourself.

        Yeah that’s horrible what happened to that man in the picture and countless other slaves in the country. By no means am I taking away from their suffering. However I take offense to you providing ZERO intelligence in your post bashing someone who has an open and loving view on life.

        Think before you speak or type.

        September 27, 2009 at 12:59 am

  30. Anonymous

    Negro men and white women have the same mentality, SORRY MOTHER FU-ers. Thinks everyone owes their sorry ass. LLLLLLLLLoosers and a very good fit for one another. Black women are winners over comers great achievers withe the whining,crying bitching that the negro male and white woman do.


    April 2, 2009 at 10:19 am

    • Anonymous

      I did not come out of my Mothers womb with a contract attached to me stating that I should date certain individuals.People,lets wake up and get with the 21st century,shall we?

      August 3, 2009 at 1:21 pm

      • NO


        My f—–g people weren’t even allowed to even look at your people, let alone sits with your sorry asses, and now you wanna get along, eh? Bastard!

        September 30, 2009 at 12:26 pm

      • Kirby

        To “NO”:

        ‘Your people’ weren’t allowed to even look at someone else’s ‘people.’ You don’t have or own any people. If you are referring to blacks, then yes they weren’t allowed to sit with whites on the buses back in the day but just remember that not all white people held those feelings back then and actually helped get rid of the Jim Crow laws.

        Your comment isn’t going to solve anything. You think not getting along is the answer? How about you stop repeating the same mistakes made before us and realize that you are just as prejudiced as the same people who didn’t allow blacks to sit on the buses with them. You may ask why, and the answer is that you lump together every white person into ‘your people’ and then say we all shouldn’t get along. Do I have to point out where you went wrong in that argument? I don’t think I have to. You should be able to figure it out.

        September 30, 2009 at 7:46 pm

  31. Becky

    Tim, I swear you must be funny. Only a comedian would write something like that. I’m still waiting for the punch line.

    April 2, 2009 at 5:29 pm

  32. Patrick

    why is it a problem if a black person dates a white person? as a matter of fact, why should we even be talking about this in 2009? i think people should grow up and learn to understand that falling in love with somebody shouldn’t depend on the color of your skin. be with someone who makes you happy, who brings out the best in you. if that person happens to be white or black, what is the problem with that? i still dont get the whole point of this debate

    April 5, 2009 at 12:20 am

    • Jhanell

      seriously, this isnt a problem, reggie bush and kim k have chosen each other. end of story. they dont even care wat u all think. i dont see the wat the fuss is about with interracial dating.
      if a black man wants a white woman go ahead. if a black woman wants a white man go ahead. U talk about, the black men growing up in the blsck communities and blah blah blah. maybe thats the problem, they want something new. i understand why black men date white. We as black women are dramatic and not every one can put up with, so he finds someone who he can put up with. Plus u cant help who u fall in love with. So all this is some bullshit. People are to date whoever the hell they want to date.

      May 4, 2009 at 8:19 pm

  33. tyreese

    yes you are an idiot. The black president you speak of is a product a of black man and a white women. He was raised by his white mother and white grandparents. He lived with very few black people until he attended college and moved to chicago. About the only thing black baout him is that his dad left him and he never knew him, and he likes basketball. as a black man myself i dont consider him black at all.

    April 9, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    • AMP

      Tyreese – after reading your comment, I am wondering who really is the idiot? If your comment is in response to the single mention of President Obama in the post you’ve missed the subject matter completely. The post isn’t about President Obama. You really need to raise your standards for what it means to be a Black Man… you cannot be serious about a dad not raising his kid makes him Black? Again, who really is the idiot?

      April 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm

  34. Tasha

    Black guys see how dramatic, disrespectful, ignorant and close-minded many of the black girls are. Many of the DECENT black guys you see around are not with black girls because there is only a hand full of educated, sensible black WOMEN around. Maybe if you girls stop with all the disrespect, close mindedness, ignorance and waving fingers in guys faces, you will have better luck with a partner of your race.

    At the end of the day. We are all human beings, who cares about race, just enjoy one another. It is not our business to get involved in other peoples lives and if you care soooo much about these people you must have no life. Spend more time of educating yourselves ladies, and stop being so dramatic and narrow minded, you may have better luck keeping a man of your race.

    As for those decent, black women, more power to you and Im sure you will find a good man, black, brown, yellow or white, that is compatible to your personality, not color of your skin.

    April 10, 2009 at 3:51 am

  35. Tasha

    Also I completely agree with what JACKA said in an above comment. There are plenty of white men that treat us women so respectfully and love us back, and I have seen plenty black women with white men, and they are happy.

    April 10, 2009 at 3:54 am

  36. why should anyone be surprised about the williams sisters dating white men? you have blacks in new york city who called venus and serena “ugly”, simply becuase they are dark skinned. these “ugly” sisters, happen to be millionaires and have more than a few white men interested in dating. the problem is with black people and our foolish belief that dark skinned blacks are “ugly”.

    April 12, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    • deanna

      First of all your comment is racist. You don’t have to be whit to be a racist. Second of all Kim is Persian…hence her last name..and if you didn’t know (which you probably don’t) Persians hail from the Middle East (Present day Iran).

      July 2, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    • How could anyone call Venus and Serena ugly??? They are gorgeous! Have just watched them both in Wimbledon semi and am completely over awed by them. It’s interesting this debate…. I have noticed in the ‘lonely hearts’ pages of UK papers and mags that nearly all of the black girls want white men.. why is that? I am a white girl who feels that attractiveness exists in all God’s peoples.

      July 3, 2009 at 2:08 pm

      • NO

        Link please, bloody lair.

        September 26, 2009 at 10:32 am

  37. BLACK


    April 18, 2009 at 7:21 am

    • Kirby

      I can’t even really give you credit for your argument because I’ve heard it many times before you spewed it out. I don’t really understand where the basis from the argument that black men hate their mothers and then choose to date white women because of that comes from. Martin Luther King’s dream was not for a purely sexual relationship between whites and blacks, and in fact he actually expressed no desire for a relationship between the two races as told in his autobiography. King’s dream was for equality and for people to treat others fairly regardless of race and for everyone to be afforded the same luxuries and respect. So, bashing those who have interracial relationships is not only flying in the face of reason but also the face of Martin Luther King’s dream of people looking past race and realizing that everyone is a human being equally.

      July 2, 2009 at 7:26 pm

  38. Anonymous

    Black, You are a racist SOB…White and Black people like you should be ashamed of themselves.

    April 18, 2009 at 11:01 am

  39. Anonymous

    First of all, you ignoramous, Kim Kardashian is not WHITE! So get over it. And she has more a** than any black chick I’ve EVER seen. Only haters care!!

    April 19, 2009 at 7:55 am

  40. DC

    I am white, 44 year old woman. I believe God created all people as His children. I also see that blacks still are not comfortable here in the US and race is still a big issue. Even among the rich and famous. I find it sad. I wish all ethnic and racial groups could always feel proud of their heritage, show it off, and accept the same in others. We are not all the same – we should celebrate our differences and respect them at the same time. It’s ok that we are all different – that’s what makes the world an interesting place. Should black athletes have white lovers? In my book, I’d say get married – but then I’m old fashioned that way. But to really answer the question, I don’t believe I should voice an opinion. I’m married to a white man. The reason I’m responding is that I can see how this can be a big issue for some folks. Ethnicity and Race are something to be proud of and preserved. But NOT used against a person. I hope I don’t upset anyone with what I’ve said, since I’m really trying to show my respect for the issue being discussed.

    April 21, 2009 at 3:39 pm

  41. Lloyd Samuel

    I think that, if a white person showed this much concern about white athletes dating black people, there would be outrage at this racism.

    Grow up, enjoy the fruition of Dr. King’s dream, and stop being such a bunch of racist crybabies.

    April 23, 2009 at 2:49 am

  42. Max

    Well, generally, many relationships are based on models. Most black athletes grew up with single mothers whom had relationships that were not anything to be proud of. Plus, many black athletes who were born in the 80’s-90’s model their relationship of previous generation. If you want to see an increase in black athlete-black women relationships, the only thing that could be done is for black women to have strong relationships with black men (that means strong marriages and family structures) If that is not there, then forget it. This doesn’t mean that there will be no interracial dating, but in general it wouldn’t be considered prevalent.

    April 27, 2009 at 3:38 am

  43. Silent_Steelers_Fan

    I do think your posting is insightful and interesting! Here in the southwest we see another phenomenon–Native American (men) and White women. While White men who date Native women are called “Squaw Men” white women, most often blondes chase after Native men. But what many chase are a romantic facade created by the bygone Fred Harvey days of majestic blanketed Indians patiently awaiting tourists/ and looking into the sunset… The NFL and other sports agencies create the same romantic glow.
    The reality of falling in love with another human being is another story. There are those who chase the romantic and when that gives way, there is nothing left of the relationship–kind of like building a house on a foundation of cards–it will fall….
    Back to my conversation. When two cultures come together it takes a concerted effort on both sides to understand each other. Sadly, if either side remain immature, one will place cultural blame on the other. Romantic sunglasses have to be removed in order to avoid hollow relationships. When both communities join in a relationship, all members must realize two human beings found love. This means true and not superficial or romanticised love. Please know the difference. If there are any children involved DO NOT show disrespect to the other person’s background, as diversity is a great teacher!
    When I look at these relationships today, I wonder who is dating for romantic novelty and who is dating for true love…Remember when the glasses fall off, ask yourself “is this the person you are willing to have an intelligent conversation with at three in the morning or hold me when I am discouraged?”
    You will see how fast your viewpoint changes…

    April 27, 2009 at 3:53 pm

  44. lol guhh bizzy body 4a live<3

    April 27, 2009 at 8:25 pm

  45. Anonymous

    BLack women have way to much issues thats why you aint getting no love from the brothers. white women love black men. dont be rude just cuase you anit found love

    April 29, 2009 at 2:01 am

  46. Anonymous

    I think that it is ok to date outside your race as long you dont put other races above your own as if thats better bc we are all equal.

    April 29, 2009 at 11:05 pm

  47. Silent_Steelers_Fan

    Another book to read regarding this issue is: Romance and Rights
    The Politics of Interracial Intimacy, 1945-1954 by Alex Lubin you can view a brief review of the book here:
    A fascinating read nonetheless and gives a good history of interracial relationships. You can also read about the mystique and creations of Black Athletes with:orty Million Dollar Slaves: The Rise, Fall, and Redemption of the Black Athlete by William C. Rhoden. Both can break down various stereotypes and give good histories!
    Happy Readings!

    April 29, 2009 at 11:29 pm

  48. @

    I am a young mixed race ( black and white) girl. I grew up with the best of both worlds… honestly it doesn’t matter!!!!!!! like its 2009!! who gives a crap??? LOVE IS LOVE… LOVE HAS NO COLOR!!!!! MAYBE if you would stop looking at the two colors being together and just start looking at them as human beings with feelings!!!!!!! Ignorance gets you nowhere and this is a new era .. wake up and smell the coffee.. stop bitching.. there is a revolution

    May 1, 2009 at 7:49 am

  49. Anonymous

    wow. it is JUST AS RACIST to talk about how black people shouldn’t desert their “own” to date a white person. that’s extremely hypocritical. and it would be better to talk about the community they grew up in, rather than diminish it to a certain race.

    and seriously it is 2009. who the f*** cares if there’s interracial dating? DON’T BE A HYPOCRITE!

    May 2, 2009 at 3:29 am

  50. bang

    love ittt!!

    May 3, 2009 at 10:33 pm

  51. Maria Maria Sanchez

    Its seems more often than not black men choosing to date outside their ethnic background once they felt the hit a certain finacial level. I think it boils down to sense of community, like uplifting and building the black community with a strong black family, Others races do it all the time and they are never challenged why. Arabic, Jewish, and various ppl with Eurpean descent marry someone of their background and continue to grow and focus on their family. I don’t think it is racisim, but I do think these atheletes should have sense of self and pick their mate b/c of love and not as a status symbol.

    May 4, 2009 at 3:06 pm

  52. Ashanti

    I am a black woman and I am not jealous of white women dating black men. I’m disgusted with the popular trend of SUCCESSFUL black men CHOOSING white women. We (black folks) see it happen in our community all the time. When a black man is down and out he’s with a sistah, but as he starts to rise he kicks her to the curb for a white chick. Read the post above “REALNewsNetwork – December 22, 2008 at 5:49 pm”. This person breaks it down for you quite nicely. He or she is telling the truth about the doll test, I studied that in college. If it was love in the purest form, untainted by color, then the TREND wouldn’t be so high among SUCCESSFUL black men. Stop acting like black people just have a problem with interracial dating and listen to what’s being said. It’s the TREND of SUCCESSFUL BLACK MEN having an AFFINITY for white chicks as opposed to black chicks that’s bothersome (love is not supposed to have a color…REMEMBER!!!). The trend suggests that there are a lot of black men who believe they are unable to reach the “American Dream” with a black woman at their side and still embody success and prestige. American society places white women on a higher pedestal than the sistahs and therefore the white women are commonly more desirable to black men on the rise. To know that it’s going to happen and to watch it happen over and over again is hurtful…Black-on-Black racism is a major way that black folks oppress each other. Racism hurts in general, but it becomes an incessant ache when the racism comes from within one’s own race. I’m not jealous…I’m hurt…and I’m tired of being hurt so I’m a little bitter too that some black folks are still believing the lies that Massa told about the quality of the negro. Seeing blacks in the 21st century who still show remnants of that slave mentality brings pain. If color was not an issue, the scales would be balanced and there wouldn’t be an OVERWHELMING number of successful black men with white women. Those feeble minded brothas reaching for their “members-only jackets” with their pallid trophy wife in tow are ashamed or unloving of their black heritage somewhere along the line. For the same reason we have some black folks who think one shade of black is better than the other. Love is not supposed to have a color but for the young black mogul it often does. You don’t have to understand just be aware that Black-on-Black racism does exist and it is manifested all too often in the choices that wealthy black men make.

    To the white chicks with the black mogul on their arm, sistahs aren’t jealous that he picked you. Rather we’re disheartened that he’s ashamed of us and he thinks you’re better than us. We feel dejected because, to him, we’re good enough to give him life but not good enough for him to stand before God and take us for his wife. Moreso, we are bemused by the notion that the color of our skin affords him a glass celing while the color of your skin offers him limitless opportunities for success.

    May 8, 2009 at 9:27 am

    • African-Ameirican Prince

      Cosigns 1000%

      But are you equally as digusted by black women who say “I don’t date black men,they don’t know how to treat a lady” as if we are all the exact same way…or do you give black women a pass to do as they please…to chase after white men…as if they are on some higher level just because they look down on black men?

      If not then you are just a hypocrital

      July 15, 2009 at 8:52 pm

  53. Ashanti

    One last thing…even in the time of Obama, who clenched the presidency with a sistah on his arm, there are still those black men who view the sistah as a symbol of the glass ceiling. Hopefully our president can open your eyes. To those black men who just happen to fall in love with a women of another race. I’m sorry your love is misunderstood and mistaken for a stepping stone toward success.

    To the biracial people who say it doesn’t matter. Just because you don’t fully fit into one race or the other doesn’t mean you should ignore race. It does matter!!! LEARN YOUR ABOUT YOUR HERITAGE….White (or other), black and American…IT DOES MATTER….IT HAS ALWAYS MATTERED!!!! True, it shouldn’t because in the eyes of God we are all the same, but until you get to heavrn or hell it matters because you live in a world that makes it matter. You are not exempt from the race discussion because you don’t know which box to check in a question about your racial demography. In 2009 I suggest you learn to acknowledge race instead of ignore it.

    May 8, 2009 at 9:53 am

    • Victoria

      Poor poor, IGNORANT argument. I know my culture very well and LOVE it,I fit into my race just fine actually and have always only dated HISPANIC males and now am also proud of my signifigant partner who is a black man. Your ignorant front is a poorly fought that you justify with victimizing of a race and viewing race as a superiority battle. I chose him and he chose me, not based on color and I didn’t execute some kind of aquisition or persuade only black men. To your dismay and contrast to your notion it’s possible that a person can just be attracted to another race because for the simple fact that they are simply ATTRACTED. Your independent pshycoanalysis is not needed, theirs no type of science, emotinal disattachment, self hatred, or analysis involved behind birracial dating, actually it’s just called the 21 century, you should start living in it, the 1950s oppression is a bit dated.

      November 20, 2009 at 8:16 am

  54. Silent_Steelers_Fan

    Well spoken Ashanti! What men fail to realize is when looks “go south” with age, so does the hippie drippy novelty romance. When people open their eyes and realize the hyperreal simulacrum standing in front of them has nothing in common with them. This is COMMON when people date a race or culture and not the human being! Additionally, problems arise that may not be reparable. Still, lets look at this from a novelty standpoint. Even though these white women ‘clinch’ a successful Black man, that is not a firm guarantee of relationship or marriage. They too get cheated on because, well, the novelty has worn off. What is found in the southwest is similar. Native American men may chase blondes and white girls, however when the fantasy fades they turn back to their own kind. A phenomenon known as romancing the “Other.”
    But consider this:
    How much plastic surgery can a woman have and still hide her age? (look at Kathy lee who was dumped for Kelly Ripa-I express repugnance for Regis for this one)
    Men, as evidenced by the limitless “erectile dysfunction” advertisements on the tele, are not virile in older age. (Again the novelty and stereotype of Black men wears off because that is a human male thing)
    Oh! did I mention the moguls do not play sports forever? Few make it to ten years and even fewer are prolific announcers. So when are these bubble headed trophy wives going to leave their mogul for another? and who would want to associate with that kind of person anyway!

    Consider the source and find a man who would love you and walk side by side-that is rare on this planet…

    May 8, 2009 at 3:11 pm

  55. Philip

    I think the issue is one of healing. I don’t think black people have really healed sufficiently after the incredible discrimination that we have been through. Therefore when the most successful ones of us start marrying or dating the ethnic group that was largely responsible for the unspeakable attrocities of the slavery genocide it’s like scraping a raw nerve on concrete.

    I don’t think there would be such an issue with it if black people were doing just as well educationally, socially and generally as the whites, because the perception of the inequality that still exists in the society today would be less pronounced and therefore the fact that our most successful atheletes were going off with the whites would seem to matter less as our people as a whole would be doing better.

    However, this isn’t the case and blacks are still languishing far behind economically than our counterparts so the perception that the few successful ones of us seem to be decamping to other ethnic groups is a negative affirmation of being black to the rest of us. It says that my kind aren’t good enough for me eventhough this is probably not what is meant to be inferred.

    Having said that, people need to be allowed to live their lives as they see fit. I’m responsible for me not for all the blacks on planet earth but I still have to be mindful of the traumatised state that black people remain in especially if I’m a high profile superstar.

    I am dating a white woman at the moment but I want to be with a black woman and I hope to find a good black lady to eventually marry. The young white generation of today may not understand the complexities of black feelings about interracial marriage. They may not be racists themselves and therefore feel since they are free to love whomever they fall in love with, no questions asked then why shouldn’t the blacks. I think there would be a lot of residual racial imbalance for them also, if it was their ethnic group that had been so brutalised for so long. It might cause them some real soul searching before they so readily set up home with our former enemy but they’ll never understand.

    May 8, 2009 at 11:51 pm

    • Anonymous

      Don’t date a white woman if you wouldn’t marry her. Dont waste her time or yours.

      July 28, 2009 at 5:52 pm

  56. Silent_Steelers_Fan

    so Phillip..Is the white woman you are dating a novelty? Something you can have fun with and use until your family pressures you to date a black woman?

    May 9, 2009 at 12:00 am

  57. Maria Maria Sanchez

    I agree@Ashanti. As an african american I do feel that we should have a sense of community, and want to build up or community once we feel like we have arrived. I think there are those moments when someone falls in love with someone from another ethnicity and I can understand that but most of the time this is not the case. As a product of an interacial family I still recognize the importance of a strong black family unit and the importance of it and wish that more of us will not abandoned or tradition and family once we make it our careers.

    May 9, 2009 at 12:50 pm

  58. Becky

    Ashanti, Maria, and Philip, I appreciate your points of view. Slavery and its ensuing social, economic, and political ramifications still profoundly affect us today. Although I cannot speak for Jewish people, I imagine that their well-documented eons of slavery at the hands of the Romans, Persians, Egyptians, and Babylonians left them with similar feelings. However, I can not agree with everything you posted.

    Maria wrote that once men gain wealth they begin to date outside their “ethnic background” and said athletes seem to choose mates as a symbol of their status rather than for love. Following up on this idea, Ashanti expressed her hurt and frustration, writing:

    — If color was not an issue, the scales would be balanced and there wouldn’t be an OVERWHELMING number of successful black men with white women. Those feeble minded brothas reaching for their “members-only jackets” with their pallid trophy wife in tow are ashamed or unloving of their black heritage somewhere along the line. For the same reason we have some black folks who think one shade of black is better than the other. Love is not supposed to have a color but for the young black mogul it often does. You don’t have to understand just be aware that Black-on-Black racism does exist and it is manifested all too often in the choices that wealthy black men make. —

    In a striking statement, Philip wrote, “…so the perception that the few successful ones of us seem to be decamping to other ethnic groups is a negative affirmation of being black to the rest of us. It says that my kind aren’t good enough for me eventhough this is probably not what is meant to be inferred.”

    My points:
    1. Ashanti, I take exception to being called “pallid”. That word has a negative connotation and it was used in a negative sense. That’s kind of crappy.
    2. Let’s be accurate – the majority of “successful, black men” are not dating or married to white women. Take a look at a list of American, successful, black-owned businesses or at a list of black millionaires and you’ll discover that the “overwhelming number of successful black men” are NOT with white women. In fact, it is just the opposite.
    3. A black man dating a white woman does not mean he is ashamed of his race and it certainly is not “Black-on-Black” racism. If that premise was true anyone who dated outside of his or her color would be ashamed of his or her background. But the premise is absolutely wrong. As an example, I am Scandinavian and proud of my Viking heritage! I married a black man whose monetary wealth is miniscule, and he is proud of his African and American heritage. He did not marry me because he felt he couldn’t achieve the American Dream with a black woman. No one in his southern, descendents-of-slaves family believes he married me for anything but love. They were not hurt and the women in his family don’t feel betrayed that he married me. His ability to achieve economic success never factored into his color choice of wife.
    4. The media focuses on celebrities – obviously. Therefore, it is natural to notice and remember celebrity black men with women of other races. It may seem that rich, successful black men choose white women, but Ashanti, Maria, and Philip, rest assured that there are plenty of successful black men out there who choose wonderful black women. I hope that you can have faith on that point.
    5. Philip, I understand the point you made in the quote above. You summarized in two sentences the entire argument against black celebrities choosing white women. Nicely done. All I can say is that I agree with Ashanti, who hopes that President Obama can open America’s eyes to successful black men OUTSIDE of the sports and entertainment industry.
    6. Finally, I am sure we all agree that we choose mates from among those surrounding us. I don’t know how Kim and Reggie met, perhaps at a party to which they were both invited, or in the VIP section of a dance club, or maybe they both have the same real estate agent…I don’t know. My point is that they probably met as a result of being in a similar social circle and therefore, in similar locations at the same time. He’s a good-looking guy, she’s a pretty girl and…boom, they hook up. It doesn’t take an anthropologist to figure out that with similar experiences, friends, social standing, that these two would come in contact. Take Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith…similar backgrounds, similar friends, similar careers…boom, they hook up. How about all of the white men who fought in Vietnam or were stationed in Japan for a long time? They came back to the States with Asian wives. Why? Because they were in similar locations, had access to each other, and had similar experiences. It could be argued that many of these Asian women simply wanted to achieve the American Dream and saw better outcomes for them in the US. However, then one must consider that most of these marriages have lasted for 40-50 years. American Dream or American Love? I think American Love, baby.

    May 12, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    • Anonymous

      I thought your response was very thoughtout and well versed and Ijust thank you for postingit so I could readit.

      June 30, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    • Ann

      Becky well done on your responses above, but I’m disagree with the part “it could be argued that many of these Asian women simply wanted to achieve the American Dream and saw better outcomes for them in US.” 1st of I’m an Asian woman who born in the US and my husband is African American. Before we meet, we both dating people of our race, but when we found each other we know we are each other sole-mates. He is not rich, and I do not need him to achieve the American Dream, we both work hard to save money for our wedding, our house, and our busineses. Our relationship are simply love why can people see that, so grow up everyone we are in America “THE MEALTING POT” we will always surrounding by other races beside our own. So follow your heart, once love comes all you can do is follow your heart. Besides, we live in a free country and i believe everyone have a right to love whoever they please, just because you would not date people outof your race, doesn’t mean other feel the same way you do. Therefore i think Reggie and Kim look cute together, that’s their life, their relationship, no one knows but themsevles

      August 28, 2009 at 6:25 pm

  59. Anonymous

    I don’t thinking marrying outside of your race is a “betrayal” to “your own kind”. That is a very dark, bitter and frankly ignorant attitude.
    Just because you marry someone outside of your race, doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten where you came from. Athletes can establish scholarships, make charity donations, give speeches at high schools in their old communities and to me, this is a better representation of staying connected with your roots. NOT who you marry. Everyone deserves happiness, regardless of your ethnic orientation. It has nothing to do with self-hate, it’s just human attraction.

    Taking a few high-profile examples (a.k.a celebrities) and citing this as “bad interracial relationships” is generalizing. The pro-athelete or movie star is not a representation of the average citizen. Generalizations based on a few case studies makes for poor logical evidence in a case. Unfortunatly these celebs get placed on a pedastal and lead such different lives from the average person, that they are disconnected from us. Is it really appropriate to draw comparision between yourself and a professional athlete or movie star? Aside from a few basic similarities (grew up in the same home town, went to the same high school) looking at thier lives as they are now, what could you possibly have in common with these people?

    You fall in love with who you fall in love with. Of course there is always going to be the couple who marry for money, or the ones who subconciously hope to raise their status, but in general people get married because they feel a strong attraction to one another and wish to spend their lives together.

    May 14, 2009 at 11:28 pm

  60. Anonymous

    How often do people claim to have been in love at first sight? Very few and i bet you were sceptacle about the ones who did. Thats because you know that its not what someone looks like that counts, or which race they happen to be. It’s their personality you fall in love with, shared experiences and interests. Who wants to spend their life with a cardboard cutout of their perfectly groomed partner?

    May 25, 2009 at 11:09 pm

  61. Anonymous

    It may be true that white women are gold diggers and they know this (they were raised to be that way) Not all but most…I am a black woman from Colorado so I know first hand believe me, but I think people love who they love and race should not matter. I feel I deserve whomever I desire regardless of race. If others want a rich man make yourself available…if that’s what you want.

    May 26, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    • Anonymous

      you are ignorant and i;m sure raised in aurora or lakewook colorado. white women unlike black women are polite and not trashy. that’s why black athletes like us….and we are way better looking. nice try though

      February 13, 2010 at 11:46 pm

  62. Ken

    Strange that in a topic about black athletes dating “white” people the “whiteness” of 3 of the 4 women listed is very suspect at best. I have a feeling that was done intentionally to stir up debate. This article should be re-titled “Black Athletes, Non-black Lovers”.

    May 27, 2009 at 3:37 am

  63. Anonymous

    It’s funny how some believe white women “chased” black men and somehow “fooled” them into marrying them.

    May 30, 2009 at 12:52 pm

  64. Anonymous

    I’m a white man that grew up in a poor, black neighborhood. In fact, I was the only white male in our neighborhood. Growing up I “acted black” and I hated white people. Later in life I realized I hated white people (white women in particular) because I hated myself. I hated how poor I was. I hated that I didn’t look like my friends. It was only after I became educated, got a well-paying job, and expanded my social circle did I realize who I was and why I felt the way I did growing up. I’m 180 degrees different than I was when I was a kid. Here are some of the things my black friends would say that they’re “gonna get wit a white girl so they can pay (their) bills). Once, when I was dating a black woman she told me her female cousin said, “if you was gonna get wit a white man, at least get wit one dat has money”. That same woman that I dated also told me, “there aren’t any racist black people, but if there is one it’s because a white person made them that way”. It is my opinion that many black athletes date/marry white women for many reasons and all those reasons have been expressed in the comments above. I believe many white women date/marry black athletes because they see financial security, a man in power, and sometimes love. It’s known that women are intoxicated by men in power (athletes, musicians, actors, etc) regardless of race, attractiveness, etc. Men are attracted to beauty. Ok, I’m rambling now. I’ll close with this; a lot of my black friends had a problem with me dating a black girl, but actively pursued white girls themselves.

    May 30, 2009 at 1:17 pm

  65. Anonymous

    Nationality doesn’t make your race. When you mix a white Russian, a white Turk, a white Scot, and a white Dutch you get a white person. Please stop confusing nationality and ethnicity with race.

    May 30, 2009 at 1:51 pm


    I agree with the post above dated May 30, 1:17. Black men could date white women but had a problem with white men dating black women. Sort of the same as black women having a problem with black men dating white women but would date white men if they could. I do not agree with the post that the reason black men date white women is because they “hate their mothers.” In some cases, that’s just bullsh*t! You cannot speak for every black man. As a matter of fact, I am a half white and half asian women and have only dated black men. In one serious relationship, my boyfriend treated his mother with such love and respect and the feeling was mutual. I was there and we were together for seven years. I knew his ins and outs and I know that he did not “hate his mother”. He has much love for his mother and you can’t tell me any different.

    It’s true, visiably, there are only two races: black and white (which means that Kim is white and their are non-African people considered black like some of the French). But it’s very sad that since we do not usually fall in “love at first sight”, that we make a person’s skin color a big issue and in Philip’s case (see 11 posts above), he’s just using that white girl until he finds himself a black women, is carrying on the sterotypes of why black men date white women in the first place. Phillip, I hope your girlfriend comes to her senses and leaves your ass!!!!!

    June 2, 2009 at 6:01 am

  67. shia

    how its funny how adults act like such kids me and all my friends and everyone i know can care less its 2009 grow up already

    June 2, 2009 at 6:32 am

  68. darknlovely816

    First of all, my parents are from Trinidad and Tobago and you can be white and Trinidadian as well. I had many friends that were Trini “whites” as we called them. The only difference is that in Trinidad, people really don’t dwell on color and race the way americans do. As a dark-skinned black woman (born here mind you), I do notice that successful black men do tend to date white women. My brother is also married to a white woman but I think at the end of the day people should be with who they want to be with. I think black american women need to widen their horizons and date whomever is good to them and stop holding out for the “black man” because black men are not holding out for us.

    June 7, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    • Shannon

      I totally agree with darknlovely816. We as black women should stop trying to wait for black men and start dating other races as well. That’s why we are the lowest percentage to get married because we are trying to find that black prince. We should be more open like black men and broaden our horizons when it comes to dating interracially. If you want that ring on your finger then you better start looking out of your comfort zone.

      June 26, 2009 at 2:12 am

  69. darknlovely816

    PS: in Trinidad the young lady married to the NBA athlete would be oonsidered “white” to those of you that keep pointing out that she is “Trinidadian” and therefore can’t be white. But Like I said before, I think everyone has a right to choose whom they want regardless of their motives and reasons. Who are we to judge anyway?

    June 7, 2009 at 9:41 pm


    First of all it makes me sick to my stomach how people still have issues with the whole black/white situation..its the year 2009.we are not in the slavery years!!!!…america is a diverse nation!..and love is what brings people together..not color,money,or interests.It surprises me how many people are against LOVE.I personally believe that the correct word for that is “HATERS”!!!….people who are so pathetic and sad, and unsatisfied about their fucken life that think they can judge someone else…black girls hate on mexicans or any type of white women who are with black men and tend to make a large amount of excuses of why they are with them..when in reality the real problem is that some black women are ghetto..besides the fact that some are raised there theyre the ones who choose to behave and to stay there…while on the other hand other black women choose to move out get educated and become very successful is a personal choice to direspect yourself an be dramatic and loud! okay yeah america fucked up in the old times by rejecting blacks but we dont owe you shit!!!!top acting like the fucken world should feel pitty for you when you grew up with all kinds problems.Its not our fault!!theyre are many people of different nationalities that grow up with issues and leave them behind to become a better person!!!i read above that black men are with them because of ass!!seriously?…as if black women dont have ass!!!idiots!!!its the fact that they are probably ten times more woman than what theyve experienced!!…and the whole fact that black women like white men better?…well who would blame someone for wanting to be treated like a queen once in a while possibly lifetime!!!theyre are those black men who have it all and are the best of gentlemen….two thumbs up!!!Im pretty sure that black women are probably fed up with being called a bitch and hoes!!!!!…….well that was my opinion!!!!!!!….jus another out of many voices!!!!i myself love this diversed nation and what we have overcome!!!!!so to all the haters fuck you!!!!…..dont blame the world for who you choose to become!!!

    June 16, 2009 at 10:57 pm

  71. Nick

    people shouldn’t be confined to their race or ethnicity for partners, although it WOULD be ultimately easier. i’m a hispanic dating an asian, the cultural and racial battle is tough. i put up with a lot of shit. but.. i love her and likewise so it’s worth it. i think if you don’t love one another truly, these interracial couples will fail. black on black relationships would work better, but why confine yourself and never try anything else if you feel like it? not only is america the land of the free, but the world is free to love one another.

    June 20, 2009 at 9:19 am

  72. Shakeatha

    Reading some of the responses posted so far it seems that some of those posting do not realize the struggle of the African American people. The diaspora of the African American has left a people immersed in self hatred and a lack of belonging. We cleave to such things that are not our own and fail to realize what a rich culture that has risen out of our pain and suffering. What fails to be addressed is that we as a people have been broken for many years and will take many years to heal. The problem is not that a black athlete dates a white woman, but the problem is that the mentality of one when they enter a certain tax bracket that a black woman is not good enough or that the stigma of the black woman now becomes negative verses a non-African American. I believe that this issue is the one that needs to be addressed. It is a prejudice within the African American culture itself. As African Americans, we need to address the brokenness left behind by the reminiscent of slavery and no to be so foolish as to think that there is no work to be done after segregation has only been ended decades ago. People are free to date whom they which, but psyche of the African American male towards the African American female is a concern needed to be addressed by this generation.

    June 26, 2009 at 1:59 am

  73. Shannon

    Who cares if an athlete dates interracially? I mean I don’t because it shouldn’t matter. First of all, Kim and Teresa are not white. Kim is Armenian which is Middle Eastern or Mediterranean. I hate it when we see a black celebrity or athelete with a lighter skinned person, we automatically assume that they are white. I mean come on people know what you are talking about. Don’t we have better things to worry about instead of who’s dating who. GET A LIFE!

    June 26, 2009 at 2:01 am

  74. Kirby

    This is a really interesting topic brought up. I don’t understand why some people feel that certain members of a racial group have an obligation to their particular racial group. If you love someone, that is the only reason you should be with them, regardless of race, money, class, or anything else. Some people try to point out that black athletes or rich black celebrities purpose-fully marry or date white people in order to step up another level of class. I’m sure some people do that, but there is no obligation to “stay true” to your race. If you want to be with someone, go for it. If some rich people are marrying or dating people based upon a criteria, then that is their fault and their unhappiness alone. Very interesting topic brought up.

    June 28, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    • Kirby

      I mistyped something in the middle of my post … I meant to say that some people believe that black athletes marry white people in order to step up a level of class. I wanted to add that it is ridiculous that some people may actually view dating a particular race as being “classy” or moving up the social hierarchy. Love isn’t a status symbol.

      June 28, 2009 at 10:00 pm

  75. Simon

    Great debate. I know race shouldn’t play a part when choosing a partner but it can be one of many subconcious reasons we do. I’m a white guy but I know I’m almost always attracted to black women. It’s not my sole criteria when we get together but it’s one of the factors when I make my choice. Just like preferences for blond hair or great physique – but there needs to be more than simple physical attraction to make love work.

    June 29, 2009 at 11:27 am

  76. Cat

    The seeds of colorism is planted at a very young age despite the fact that black people grow up mostly around the black family. We all “witness” as children that white is the ‘right’ color, especially through TV images that portray predominately white and half-white people as the only happy, powerful, sexy, rich, and pretty people on the planet. Colorism is evident in schools where the lighter skinned child is better liked and taught than the darker skinned child. Don’t let that child have GOOD hair; he/she’s positively adored! These images are strong, powerful, and stay with black kids into adulthood.

    I remember when single and out clubbing a lot of young black guys would only dance with light skin black girls or white girls. Black guys would actually say that a girl was too dark for them to be seen with on the floor. It was wrong, it was pathetic, but it happens. And yes, some black men become successful and weed black girls and their hometowns out of their lives. And yes, there are white girls who put themselves in the path of rich and powerful black men or black celebrities who want white trophies on their arm as badges of successfulness. These women are intelligent enough to know that they are only trophies AND they act accordingly; whereas a black woman might see herself, sometimes to her folly, as a partner. It continuously happens and it won’t change. Women love power and powerful, successful men love their trophies as they perceive them. Could there be love in this type of manipulation? Sometimes yes and sometimes not but it’s THEIR choice! You see, a lot of stuff happens, but, no one should live their life bemoaning these types of choices. Don’t hate on it! Just make sure you tell your dark-skinned son or daughter that their color is a source of pride because they are of the First Race from God, the original, proven thru genetics. Let each of us of ALL colors develop our greatest potential within the skin that houses our own souls. Yes, this is a planet of a preferred color and it takes courage, tenacity and early encouragement by parents for pride of oneself, survival, and growth without hatred of other races. So, whatever color floats your boat, ultimately it’s your individual choice. As a wise, successful, older black woman once said to me, “God made us a rainbow so we could choose any color we like.” I say, choose LOVE, always.

    June 30, 2009 at 6:50 am

    • Anonymous

      Cat, nothing wrong with having pride because of your dark-skinned but it so not true that dark-skinned are the “First Race” from God. God mad us all the same way.

      August 28, 2009 at 9:12 pm

  77. Kirby


    I think you have to realize that 75-80% of the American population is white and about 12% of the population is African-American. I think that might explain why you see a lot more white people on television, either in a positive or negative light. Whether it is a good or bad thing, the White and African-American are the two races that are mostly shown in ads or on TV as successful and rich people as they are the “poster” races of the US; while Hispanics are mostly neglected (who make up around 15% of the population).

    As for the whole idea of men staying away from dark skinned women, I don’t really know much about that but honestly men can be really picky towards types of women. Personally, I like dark skinned women and that is just my preference, while others may prefer light skinned women of any race.

    You’ll find men of any race wanting to find a trophy wife, and that is wrong. I’ve heard white men talking about their trophy wives and I feel nothing but sadness for that woman and their relationship as love isn’t the driving force between the two.

    Much like you said, the original people were from Africa. On a larger scale, we are all related at some level, so there is no point in differentiating between racial groups because in the end it doesn’t really matter anything more than what color somebody’s skin looks like.

    June 30, 2009 at 11:20 am

  78. Dr. G

    I came across this discussion by accident, and I have not been able to look away! I am a Black male, and my White fiance and I are planning for an August wedding. We both honor and respect the rich and ancient cultures and traditions from which we have both come (mine African/African American and hers Irish). Both of us have had serious relationships in the past (with people both in and outside of our own respective “races”); but within each other we have found the support, common ambitions, intellectual stimulation, physical/sexual attributes, professional passion, LOVE…and much, much more that we have both been looking for!

    I am not a “romantic”…I am a “realist”. I don’t know that there isn’t a perfectly compatible Black woman out there for me, since I haven’t dated “every” Black woman in the world. All I know for myself is that the women that I have dated in the past for any number of reasons didn’t work out (White, Hispanic, Asian, women of different nationalities, and yes my sisters…Black). In the end, I have decided to marry the woman that best fulfills my needs, magnifies me as a person, and accepts that I will do the same for her…and as it turns out, she’s White (gasp)!

    I do not accept that there is a “blanket label” that can be placed on EVERY interracial relationship/marriage, because everyone’s life and relationship experiences are DIFFERENT. To choose to be with someone outside of your race does not mean that you are “self-loathing”…or that you are any LESS a proud Black man! Culture, history, and ancestory are a part of EVERY human being’s birth right and life experience…but as a wise man once stated…”different is not deficient” -Rev. Jeromiah Wright

    July 1, 2009 at 3:03 am

  79. Rich

    black women are just less attractive with their razor hair and forget about the attitude, so no wonder black men with money get hot white babes

    July 2, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    • keepitblackandreal

      White women are ugly as hell and that why they need makeup. Lets not talk about they crow feet. That why most white rich men trade them in when they become 30. A 30 year old black woman looks young and fresh. White women, are over makeup but remove the makeup and see the real uglness. The white PR, machine can tell the world that a white monkey is beautiful and some sold-out n***r would believe him. I don’t believe the hype about your pale blue women. Just as you see no beauty in my women I see no beauty in a fake over makeup face. Lets don’t even take about your fake tans!!!!!!!!

      July 12, 2009 at 2:37 pm

      • seriously??

        dude, how racist are you? that guy rich just sounded stupid but you sound even more stupid and really mean. Who are you to call a whole race of people ugly? you are no one. btw, my mother is white and my father is black. theres nothing wrong with a person dating outside their race. It really does not matter at all. a person loves a person regardless of skin color. you people sound so stupid arguing that black people should date blacks and white people should date whites.

        July 15, 2009 at 10:39 pm

      • Anonymous

        Keepitblackandreal, it sad to have people like you in the world, n honey speak for your-ugly-black-self because u bring shame to all black people, because no one can speak for their race.

        August 28, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    • Anonymous

      rich go to hell, people like you and keepitblackandreal should marry each other just for saying that

      August 28, 2009 at 9:29 pm

  80. Black woman

    I sorry but most black Athletes DO NOT date white women. It’s the media that over promote the Black Athletes that do. The white women, are doing it for financial reason, and in my book they are whores. If you want your kids to be Athletes it’s best you marry a black woman and that a fact. Most successful and famous black men who conscious about the culture woudn’t want to go near a white woman Denzel Washington, Will Smith. It’s a small amount that dating white women, what should be say is how many Athletes are dating white women?

    July 4, 2009 at 1:32 pm

  81. black woman

    I sorry but most black Athletes DO NOT date white women. It’s the media that over promote the Black Athletes that do. The white women, are doing it for financial reason, and in my book they are whores. If you want your kids to be Athletes it’s best you marry a black woman and that a fact. Most successful and famous black men who conscious about they culture woudn’t want to go near a white woman Denzel Washington, Will Smith. It’s a small amount that dating white women, what should be said is how many black Athletes are dating white women?

    July 4, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    • black woman 2

      You are a very ignorant person. I feel sorry for you, actually make us a favor, go back to school and study HISTORY.

      July 4, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    • SMART Black Woman

      Black Woman
      OH, so white women who date black athletes are only in it for the money? First, that would imply that a white woman couldn’t possibly love a black man….why? Because they are inferior, dumb, unattractive, classless? You said it, not me and I think you are wrong. I think black men are actually worthy and deserving of love EVEN (gasp) by white women.

      Second, lets not forget that if a white woman is using a black athlete for his money- he is using her for something also. Validation, feeling as if he has arrived, social status, and whatever else people have alleged here.

      Third, if a black woman marries an athlete, she ISNT using him for money, just because she is black? Yeah right. Some fugly fugly fugly black rappers/athletes date supermodel attractive black women….and trust me, the women are not in it because they are just soooo attracted to him.

      I think a huge problem is that these black entertainers and athletes have no problem having kids with black women, but will only wife up white women. And hey, if white women are smart enough to not get pregnant by someone who won’t marry them, then maybe they deserve half that we don’t even respect ourselves enough to get before we go have kids with someone

      July 28, 2009 at 6:34 pm

  82. Virginia

    Well, I guess after reading all these posts, you guys demostrated that many of you are not capable to help to “move on” and progress. The day that you all decide to look at your neighbor as “Donald” and not as the black/whilte/latino guy cross the street, then you have mature.

    Since I moved to the US I experimented all kind of stupidities ever heard and that I was not prepare for. I married a white man as you called it, for me was David. I was Virginia not the latino girl. Being black, since my color of the skin is brown…suddenly I encountered myself trying to explain to my “fellow black counterparts” that indeed I was black. Apparently you are only black if you are a negro from America, not from other part of the world. Oh no, excuse meeee African American I meant! even that does not mean that you actually was born in a country from Africa. Many of you can’t even say how many countries are in Africa (or where is at for that matter) and be aware that Egypt is in Africa just for the sake of the argument. So what you would say if a white guy from South Africa become a US citizen? isn’t he an African American? he is more African than you could ever be.

    So back when I was married, the bad looks were coming from the black community, it’s soo funny that we celebrate in Atlanta MLK day and people here cannot be able to practice what his dream was about. Shame on ALL OF YOU.

    One day somebody told me that I am not black because I am like a Mexican…not really black, well I am not from Mexico and even I hate to generalize, I was ashame of the behavior of many black people in this country, that I realize that racists were in all sides. I have to hold on my tongue in so many ocassions because the use of the “race card” it’s for sale like milk in a grocery store. The sole use of it should be punishable by law!. The ignorance is so profound that I was in desbelief of how many stupidities you can find in every community calling themselves a victim of the white world.

    Why should we care if somebody of whatever color or race dates another person outside their own? Is that really a subject or a matter of discussion?
    I think what you should tell your cousin is that in the past, that would be looking as wrong, same as in the past women were not allow to vote, same as in the past a woman could not be a CEO of a big company or divorce were not allow, or that gays and lesbians were taboo and there were no gays in the black community, that’s what you should tell him!…you can add that is normal as humans that we are attracted by many factors like if the person has good humor, similar taste, etc but is nothing to worry if the person is outside their “community” or have different skin’s colors characteristics, I guess if the person is missing two eyes and a nose then you can worry about.

    Probably the problem is within your cousin and family, how possible the ONLY thing they want to be in is within your own race? I always wonder why, apparently, not major black people want to go to ballet and classical music…I can count them. Arts has no race but apparently you decide to put one on it, YOU.

    There is no way to progress if a kid is not involved or able to watch OUTSIDE the bubble that each of you are. That’s why there are so many problems of race in this country. Get out of your bubble, you as a parent, adult and child and discover that you, have the opportunity to go out and explore. Have you seen how cool is to go the Aquarium and see all those fishes in different bright colors? now, just imagine the same fish tank with only blue fishes…would be freakin boring as hell! America is still way behind in realize that you are not alone.

    And just a history lesson for the ones who keep blaming the white man,now the latino, economy, the green men, whatever other person but not you, for their own failures and drop out scores…slavery existed in ALL the Americas; actually within Africa, where ALL BLACK PEOPLE GENES came from, this was a normal practice. In the Americas (the continent) there are blacks from Mexico through Venezuela. Very few in the south of South America.

    Just think about this, there is no way that a battle is won with only one type of people. In the one million march there were white men too, along MLK there were white people too that believed that injustice was done, Barack Obama is in office because black, white and latino voted for him.

    So stop winning about why X person dates a Y person…always looking for a stupid excuse to blame in somebody else. It’s just disgusting! It’s sickenning! Are you really adults and mature people? I don’t think so. You all need to grow up and realize the the main cause of race in America is you.

    BTW Latino is NOT a race.

    July 4, 2009 at 2:07 pm

  83. Proud to be black

    The media focuses on black athletes who date white girls. The media know these men would empower a black community You would think most of the NBA and NLF African American players date white women when infact 95% of the NBA and NLF black players date or are married to black women. When in reality the percentages of Black athletes dating non-Black women are very close to the percentages reflected in the general population. The numbers are very low. The numbers reflect that the vast majority of people, regardless of race, will date people of their own race.

    July 4, 2009 at 2:09 pm

  84. blackmother

    First lets deal with the percentages. Most black NBA and NFL players are married to black women, to be a successful person in sport you need a parent that encourage you like Mr Williams and Mr Woods. I don’t like the disrespect some white people are saying about black mothers and women. After all black men are more likely to go to jail then a white male for doing the same crime I have 3 sons, all are professional sport-men all my sons are currently playing in NFL or NBA as a single mother I encourage them. I given them self belief, and it’s paying off. I notice white girls appearing when my sons came under contracts. My word is very powerful, and I told my sons when they were smaller this would happen we all joke about this when it did happen. All my sons are dark skinned and all are with dark skinned black women. Don’t believe the hype I going to challenge the media myself because I know many black professional sport-men do not like the stereotype being put around about them. All my sons are married to girls they grown up with and I know most professional sport-men white/black/Latin, usually marry women that came from they backgrounds and communities. Why don’t you focus on the facts and not some lie being told by the white media? Once more what the percentages, for any sport men dating outside they race and communities?

    July 4, 2009 at 3:11 pm

  85. Bob Monkhouse

    I cannot stand that Venus Williams is seeing a white man, not because I have a problem with interacial dating, no, it’s because she is well fit and I am jealous!

    July 4, 2009 at 7:22 pm

  86. keepitblackandreal

    Venus Williams, isn’t the better players between the two sisters. It’s Serena Williams, and Serena beat that Uncle tom at Wimbledon 2009,Serena Williams (2) def Venus Williams (3) 7-6 6-2. I only support Serena and I have great respect for Mr Williams who is against inter-racial dating and marriage. Serena gives back to her people and communities unlike Venus. Anyway Serena is Michael Jordan and Venus is OJ. Uncle toms should be lynched.

    July 6, 2009 at 11:51 am

  87. Dr. G

    Wow… So, you would suggest as a Black person “keepin’ it real” that we use the tools of oppression and slavery (such as lynching) in order to make sure that only people that YOU deem “worthy” to be a part of the Black race may remain alive??

    Your thinking seems right in line with some of the White-est “haters” in history…from the KKK to the Nazzis!!

    I know that on a discussion board like this, “anyone” can jump in on the conversation…but I hope for the sake of humanity (and the Black race) that no one “seriously” thinks that it is ok to pass judgement on PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW because they don’t think, believe, or behave as YOU do (this is called “prejudice”= to pre-judge).

    It is time for us (as Black people) to recognize the “hate” that WE perpetuate by our own statements and actions (and in some cases…self-imposed ignorance).

    Black people are decended from the most ancient cultures on Earth, and that is a history and ancestory to be proud of…but, there are NO GENETICS that seperate one “race” of people from another.

    Our skin features are more a result of environmental adaptation and natural selection than by imaginary boundaries of racial seperatism and superiority (ideas which were introduced by C. Darwin at the turn of the last century, which have now been proven by modern research of the HUMAN GENETIC CODE). WE ALLLLLL HAVE COMMON GENETIC ANCESTORY!!

    I long for the day as a Black Man and as a human being that we can evolve in our self-concepts (and in our concepts of the world around us)…and TRULEY understand that people are people, different is not BAD (or deficient), and we are ALL brothers and sisters of the HUMAN “race”. Only then shall we (in a very real sense) overcome.

    Education is the key to freedom from the bonds of “slavery” (both externally imposed…and self-imposed).

    Peace unto all…

    July 7, 2009 at 5:30 pm

    • Kirby

      Dr. G,

      Great post. Eloquently said and perfect.

      July 7, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    • keepitblackandreal

      Isn’t the white race nice? Did they Lynch black people that news to me. I am the bad blackmen spreading lies about your Gods. Brother you are a house n***r watching out for master best interest. All broke a@@, lowlifes should marry a rich powerful black person. Please post the percentages, of black sport men and black celebrities dating or married to white or non black people. The percentages, is very low it’s even lower then the national average. The white media is playing you like a fiddle. They use to be more rich and famous African American married to people outside they race. Black people are more confident and do not need a white person to validate them, in short successful black people don’t have to be sell-outs like Woods and OJ. African American, are more comfortable within themselves. Your views are of the past. The media do not like what they are seeing black love is a BIG TURN OFF TO Uncle Toms and the white media. We put these people down for years and they WANT TO CREATE THEMSELVES???? AND HAVE BLACK BABIES WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO SO THEY GIVE SOME SELLOUT Uncle tom Kendra and Kim, these women were created by E which is a extremely racist channel also they are the lowest of the low within the white race. No successful white men would even go near them. Two use up whores. House N***r can’t you see when you are being played both these whores are media invented. Before E who know these women? Kendra and Kim.

      July 12, 2009 at 3:06 pm

      • AMP

        keepitblackandreal, let me comment on another thing I observed in reading your comments. You clearly watch a lot of that so-called white media that you hate so much. Why is that? I don’t have time to put that poison in my mind and I don’t think a lot of the so-called conscious people do either. So what’s up with you watching E, TMZ, etc.? That’s how they make money to continue to produce the programming that they do… I guess that fact slipped past you huh?

        And let me ask this intellectual question if you can respond. What TV programming is doing more damage to Black People than BET? Black Entertainment Television has destroyed a generation of young Black Boys & Girls. That station gets no run in my home and my kids watch no music videos nor do I. And that goes into the garbage that is being produced as music, fashion, art, etc. Do you think that everything produced by Black People is good? You are quick to label Black People married to White People as Uncle Toms and Sell Outs. What do you call Black People that enslave other Black People? Who is doing more to choke of Black Creativity, Black Genius, Black Families, Black Progress and Black Life than these haters of Black People?

        And I will not even begin to get at you about our failed Black Political and Spiritual Leadership… maybe you’re to young to even remember the great Spike Lee movies of the late 80’s. One powerful line from his movie School Daze was short but on point… “Wake Up!!!!!!!” That was from brother Dap, pop that joint in your dvd and watch that sometime and play it back in case it went over your head.

        Get at me on this level of intellectual honesty and then maybe your tag of keepitblackandreal might begin to mean something.


        July 13, 2009 at 12:45 pm

      • Anonymous

        Keepitblackandreal again for the 3rd time, go to fucking hell!!!!! u r the most ignorant person on this website. Well done AMP- I can’t agree more about BET, I’m sorry but no 6-15 yrs old should be watching girls in their thongs and shacking their asses, BET is like a stripper show!!!

        August 29, 2009 at 2:35 pm

  88. keepitblackandreal

    Go tell that to the LAPD, I am a black-man if a uncle tom was being killed by the oppressors will I care NO. I have no passion for Uncle Toms, Mr Williams himself said ” people that date out-side they race should be lynched” These rules where made by your white friends. All white people think they are superior to other races. The media, is promoting the lowest white women with great black-sport men. Most white sport-men wouldn’t want a Porn Queen whore like Kim or Kendra. Who are these women? The lowest of the low. If you want to see Kim and Kendra butt naked just google they names. we are not talking about the best white women. Like Seal, German model Heidi Klum, who is his financial equal. we are talking about white lowlife that do anything for a quick dollar we are talking about lowlife whores, if these women wasn‘t with a rich sport-man they would be selling they bodies we are talking about dirty bags with no morals. On tmz, white men are calling Kendra a whore this is before she was dating that black sport man and they white men who are broke just like you. I experience racism first hand. We are not one race, the white race had made race a issue. I respect, people who marry their own and put back into they communities the biggest respect to yourself is to marry within your own race. I sorry but I don’t see these white whores running down brothers in the ghetto. They like to have black sport-men, for financial gain but majority of black sport-men are with black-women, and that a fact this makes your blog argument irrelevant. Why focus, on the 1% sell-out? They are many black celebrities that are married happily to black women and black men. The list is endless, the white media need they people to feel they are wonderful and great so if a black woman or man is great they must marry in the so-called superior race the white race. Also it‘s a insult because these men and women are marrying the lowlife of the white race. Most successful black people are usually conscious people that see a future in the black race. You are on this blog, dreaming about white women but your relative who is a sport man doesn’t agree with your opinions. I can see why you have a blog begging for a white woman and your relative is happy with his African Queen. I hope he doesn’t give you a cent.

    July 12, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    • Kirby

      You are just as racist as a white person saying whites should only marry within their own race because they are the superior race.

      July 12, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    • AMP

      I usually won’t respond to such an ignorant post as yours keepitblackandreal. My response doesn’t even deal with your long rant dealing with your worldview of white women. However, there is one specific comment you made that I must address. My purpose was not to talk about my personal relationship, but since you took it there and assumed I am married to a white woman I must inform you that I am not. I married a beautiful, Black Woman that is very brown skinned. I myself am a very dark skinned man with 4 beautiful kids. Married to my 1st and only wife of 12 years and going strong.

      The converstation I had with my fam was that of an intellectual conversation which you clearly cannot engage in. Many of the comments to this post have asked why we are even discussing the topic… they should read your 3 posts and it’ll be clear as one of our most intellectually elite brothers – Dr. Cornel West – would say, “You cannot lead the people if you do not love the people. You cannot save the people if you will not serve the people.”

      So to you keepitblackandreal… stop hating the people. And stop hating all the people.

      Cleary, Race Matters doesnt’ it?

      July 13, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    • Anonymous

      Again keepitblackandreal go to, you should call yourself “keeptibalckandwrong,” u need to shut the f**k up before u get beat by black people-yeah myself.

      August 29, 2009 at 2:44 pm

  89. Valerie

    I think whoever made the captions under each awsome picture of these lovely couples is retarted, rude, and needs to get laid. Who cares about color now a days….oh I know the KKK… are you a member?

    July 14, 2009 at 5:17 pm

  90. Valerie

    How about this I’m a Latina and I love me some Black guys… I plan on marrying one and having his baby one day…. Got a problem with it sorry can’t help you… why don’t you go get a history text book and get a reality check on how dumb you sound!

    July 14, 2009 at 5:21 pm

  91. African-Ameirican Prince

    I am an African-American male…who is very much against interracial dating and marriage:

    my reason:

    There are too many beautiful,positive and supportive AA women to chose from…and inerracial marriage does nothing to strenghten and or further the AA community…which needs more strong families…and I want beautiful black babies..not mixed,not multi racial…blah.blah.blah…and I don’t care what anyone thinks of my opinion…I have much pride and respect for myself and my people…why the hell would I want to reproduce some one elses genes…black love is beautiful and much in need in this world!

    Do I find all kinds of women to be attractive..yes…do I find white women to be the most attractive,most appealing,wisest choice of women to marry…no not at all….white wonen are greatly overrated…they are not all of that….on the of course there are some fantastic individuals who happen to be white women…but the same may be said of any group of women/or men…as for the whole “what difference does it make who AA men marry and date”…this is just black folks desire to mix with others and to un-become who they are…no thanks…should this matter…of course…why does this matter…because of our history and the experiences of our ancestors…I am sorry I can’t over look all that they went throgh…blacks are the only people who want to lose themselves in others!

    black love,black marriage and beautiful black babies forever!

    July 15, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    • Kirby

      Are you against interracial marriage or interracial dating as well? The only reasons you provided dealt with products of interracial marriage.

      I have an issue with you saying interracial marriage does nothing to further the African-American community.

      First off, who is to say that African-American marriage improves the African-American community? Who says whites marrying each other strengthens their community? Secondly, is there an African-American community or a white community? People from all different races live in my neighborhood and that is my community … not some random white guy on the other side of the country who I have no connection with other than the color of my skin. Interracial marriage can be either great, average, or terrible to a neighborhood or community … it depends on the people involved. I completely understand if people want to marry within the same race or group because of personal preferences, but citing an arbitrary community that is based on color rather than the people around it accomplishes nothing.

      As for having trouble seeing whites and blacks marry due to the history between the two races … I can completely understand that point of view but you can’t condemn an entire race because of the actions of others. That is doing the same thing you were calling someone out for in one of your previous posts … generalizing.

      July 16, 2009 at 1:42 am

    • Anonymous

      AAP shut ur stupid-ass up u n keepitblackandwrong should get marry and yall kids should marry each other so it will be a guarantee ur kids come out black. N 1st of all, there are no such thing as black or African American, I’m an American, n your black ass doesn’t even know what in your blood, just because you look black does not make you black, we all mix with something down the line we just don’t knw it.

      August 29, 2009 at 2:59 pm

  92. Michelle

    blah blah blah I am so liberal but this is something black men need to deal with _ or not_ on their own. Who is anyone to say about the validity of their relationship. This site wouldn’t exist if it didn’t eat anyone/ anywhere up a little bit. That’s just how it is. I’m from the East Coast and as bleeding heart as I am; you West Coasters still are a whining pack of pussies. This is coming from a gay woman who gets more a** than a toilet seat. You’re vapid, not very smart and completely lacing sustenance in the culture dept.
    Meanwhile, get over who the races date. We are still a young country… every studied Rome? We will thrice or die on the bigger picture. Get with is, vapid blood suckers.

    July 16, 2009 at 7:10 am

  93. 18 year old Norwegian girl

    I’m a Norwegian girl, and I would just like to remind you of the wise words performed by your greatest artist ever, Michael Jackson:

    It don’t matter if you’re black or white
    I’m not going to spend my life being a color!

    Think about that. No, Norway is not a perfect country. Some people can’t help but comment if you hook up with a black guy. But we’re closer than you are, ’cause they’re not mean comments. There are no evil stares. They might say: “You’ve got a thing for brown cheese(Norwegian thing) boys!” And I don’t see anything negative in comments like that, apart from the fact that I don’t have any color preferences.. As a Norwegian girl, I can head to the club, and find an Indian, a Persian, a Norwegian or a Gambian boy. And they can do the same, without facing comments about being white a “white girl”. And people won’t comment if you go to a party with black guys and white girls. I am a white, Norwegian girl with absolutely NO experience with the troubles black Americans have faced, and no personal experience with racism, but I think it’s a shame that you’re even discussing this! So what, some of you are black and will only fall for black people, some are white and will only fall for white people – but where does your right to judge others enter? Honestly, you should keep racist comments to yourselves, and hopefully they will disappear from your minds forever. Where is the point in condemning couples who are in love? Whatever makes other people happy, is their business. Spread love, not hate! Make the world a better place, by not judging others, and give them a smile instead, ’cause there is nothing more beautiful than two people in love, lesbian or interracial or whatever!

    July 18, 2009 at 12:47 am

  94. blessed1

    WOW unbelievable comments…we all ask why should it matter, well it shouldn’t. Who are we to say why a person is dating a certain person? Did anyone research and have accurate statistics about ur comments? did anyone ask these people personally why they choose to date the person they are dating? I doubt it. A lot of people are still stuck in racism. I’m a mix of hispanic and black. I have dated pakistani,white,black ect. @ do have a preference as to what I’m attracted to but I’m also open minded. I’ve had the crazy looks when I’m out with someone of a different race. Its sad! Why do we even call this country the united states? The stereotype of all black girls having attitudes ect. is ridiculous. I’ve met plenty of other races that have “the attitude” those people just have issues within themselves whether they are white black asian whatever. Yes the issue needs to be brought up but the headline should not have been black athletes white women. Kim is not white (caucasian). She’s armenian and by the way I have dated an armenian. It seems that we just stirred up another gossip topic. No one cares that I have dated other races so why do we care about the people mentioned? The fact that Mr. Obama’s father was not around should not and does not change who he is. There are plenty of other races who have been raised by their mothers or even just by their fathers. Come on now. There may be a large statistic of a certain race who aren’t handling their business like they should so its our duty to help change that without bringing race as an issue to the table. In all thy ways aknowledge Him and he shall direct thy path! With that said Jesus loves everyone EVERYONE! who are we to not do the same!

    July 18, 2009 at 5:38 pm

  95. Mr Love

    My two cents worth :::: (!ST) I agree with those posts who say the black male/white female things is more media hype than reality. The Census places Hispanic/white as the number one by far. Followed by Asian/white, then Native American/white. :::: (2ND) COLORISM is a world thing and people favor lighter spouces, children and leaders around the world. If you consider that 25% of American Asian women are with a white man while for blacks it is about 7%, who has it worse ? :::: (3RD) But, you can’t assume every I/R is a matter of “self-hate.” Sometimes two people meet. The question is why is it mostly black men when black women are more educated and have greater contact with the majority community ? :::: – ::::

    As for me, life is too short for me to waste any time trying to tell other people who they can or can not marry. If you like, person A, then, marry that person.

    Besides, with my mother having yellow skin and brown hair, I’m already mixed anyway. They same can be said for much of black America.

    July 22, 2009 at 9:15 pm

  96. Mr Love

    It occurs to me that Kim Khardasian is half Armenian – middle eastern white. She is one of those people whose acceptance into whiteness is sometimes uncertain.

    Armenians, Jews, Southern Italians, Portuguese, light skinned Middle Easterners, light skinned Hispanics, are all people who are either barely accepted as white or even rejected as white by many in “blue blood” Anglo America.

    And, these impure whites or dark whites or whatever name you prefer, are often the type of white who will associate with a black person.

    I think people need to see that too. These weren’t the slave master — here at least — so why can’t we marry them ???

    July 22, 2009 at 9:25 pm

  97. scorpiowoman318

    hello all. I wanna comment on Reggie Bush and Kim. I think they make a very cute couple. I don’t think it should matter whether a black man wants a white woman or vice versa. Maybe there have been plenty of black women given the chance but they didn’t treat him right or caught his heart like Kim Kardashian. I understand her background, but no one is perfect.

    July 25, 2009 at 4:19 pm

  98. Anonymous

    Why the heck are you talking about Black and White as if the two are totally different and should always be seperate!

    July 27, 2009 at 10:39 pm

  99. Anonymous

    Maybe they are just more attracted to white women. Some girls typically date mostly white guys, mostly Hispanics, mostly Asians, mostly Black guys….etc,etc. It usually has something to do with who they are the most attracted to and feel they are the most compatible with.

    OH and it is silly and MORE than a little racist to say that white women “tenaciously” pursue men and good-looking black women don’t pursue these men.

    July 28, 2009 at 4:06 pm

  100. DNA

    Racist much?

    July 29, 2009 at 12:29 am

  101. It sounds funny but the truth is BLACK MEN ARE RACIST BECAUSE THEY DON’T LIKE BLACK GIRLS. Black women know this all too well and it’s hard for them to accept because the truth hearts. Almost 100% black men PRETEND to chase black women & black women know they’re just pretending & that’s why black women gives them a hard time in the process. I’ve been around with black guys & every time I ask them what they think of that black girl?; how about that one? that one? their reply to all is “she’s gorgeous”. So when i say why don’t you check her out then. Their reply is no with a sigh. They are just pretending to show to the public that they do like black women. You see this in high school, college, bars, etc.
    If you do the statistics black men ends up marrying another race more than any other & everyone has no guts to put this in the news. Black men would defend themselves by saying they chase white women because they like it big. But when i said to one black man “So black women don’t like it big then” he was speechless because the idea now does not make any sense. Remember 2 steps back – it’s the guy that’s going to chase the women. 1 step back – it’s him that’s going to get down on his knees and propose. Then get marry. End of story. The funny thing is that they’ve seen their relative getting married to a white girl, & then he gets in trouble, they’ve seen their friends do they same & got in trouble but still they chase white women. Black guys come on are black women that bad in your world? And Black women please speak up & say this story is the truth & should be out there.

    July 30, 2009 at 1:48 am

    • Kirby

      Looking at the statistics, black men marry non-black women more often than any other race … although white, black, and asian were the only races listed in the statistics I was looking at. That could be for a number of reasons, you can’t just condemn the entire black male population as racist because 9% marry outside their race.

      The more interesting statistic is that asian women marry asian men 80% of the time which is easily the lowest of any male or female endogamous dating pattern.

      July 30, 2009 at 2:16 am

  102. Michael

    We could get even closer to the truth if we have some data about the following topic:
    1) What is the percentage of black men running away from a white woman whom he had gotten pregnant? What is also the percentage of black man marrying this same woman?
    2) What is the percentage of black men running away from a black woman whom he had gotten pregnant? What is aldo the percentage of black man marrying this same wowan?

    July 30, 2009 at 2:05 am

    • Kirby

      The number of single parent black families is startling and more startling is the number of those same single parent families that are just the mother. Regardless of racial comment or idea why that happens, that is just terrible. No child should have to be without their parents or parental figures, regardless of race. Hopefully Obama can encourage that to change for every race. Its not just a problem for black families, but it is most prevalent in black families.

      July 30, 2009 at 2:19 am

  103. Anonymous

    Modern PC society will never admit what is clear to all who observe the situation: almost ALL black men covet white women, and the extent to which any individual black man ends up with a white woman is a function of his opportunity to do so. As the income of the black man goes up, the race of his woman becomes white at a proportional pace.

    It’s not just black men; ALL races of men prefer white women. They are just plain pretty–red hair, black hair, blonde hair, brown hair (all straight and silky). That’s why black women all spend so much time dumping hot grease on their hair in a sad attempt to emulate them.

    Look also at the rape stats of the FBI. Black men are responsible for almost 50 percent of the rapes of white women, even though they account for only 12 percent of the population. That means that those who don’t have the money are “hunting” white women.

    Damn what a shame.

    July 30, 2009 at 6:18 am

  104. Anonymous

    What this means is that every day in the United States, over one hundred white women are raped or sexually assaulted by a black man.

    The Department of Justice statistics refer, of course, to verified reports. According to the Wikipedia article on rape, as many as half of all rape charges nationally are determined by police and prosecutors to be false:

    Linda Fairstein, former head of the New York County District Attorney’s Sex Crimes Unit, noted, “There are about 4,000 reports of rape each year in Manhattan. Of these, about half simply did not happen…. It’s my job to bring justice to the man who has been falsely accused by a woman who has a grudge against him, just as it’s my job to prosecute the real thing.”

    No wonder there was such absolute belief in the guilt of the Duke students among the leading sectors of liberal America. A drug-addled, half-deranged, promiscuous black stripper accused three young white men of raping her. There are virtually zero rapes of black women by white men in the United States, and half of all rape charges against specific individuals turn out to be false. But in the gnostic, inverted world of liberal demonology, the white students had to be guilty.

    Meanwhile, in the real America, week after week, the newspapers report the rapes of white women by black men—though, of course, without ever once using the words, “a white woman was raped by black man.” Just last week in the New York Post there was a story about a serial black rapist who invaded women’s apartments on Manhattan’s Upper West Side; you knew the rapist was black from a police drawing accompanying the story, and you knew the victims were most likely white from the neighborhoods where the attacks occurred. But even when news media’s reports of black on white rape make the race of the perpetrator evident (which the media only does in a minority of instances), no explicit reference is ever made to the racial aspect of the case. Each story of black on white rape is reported in isolation, not presented as part of a larger pattern. There is never the slightest mention of the fact that white women in this country are being targeted by black rapists. In the inverted world of liberalism, the phenomenon does not exist.

    July 30, 2009 at 6:46 am

    • km754

      I’m not really sure what you are trying to get at here. If you are trying to say that the phenomenon of black men targeting and raping white women is, in fact, true … then I have to disagree with you.

      First off, most rapes occur between two people who know each other, not by total strangers. Secondly, black women are raped more often than white women per capita. Next, rape is sometimes deeper than just sexual lust.

      Finally, you can’t make a blanket statement saying that almost ALL black men covet white women. You don’t know that, and can’t just assume something about an entire race … that is what has caused so many problems in history.

      For someone who talks so much about liberalism and PC America, you mised a glaring point. The reason why the media is so shy about drawing a connection from black perpetrated rape is because of the PC nature of the country. If a reporter were to do that, he or she would be fired on the spot. The “evil liberals” aren’t sitting around trying to hide facts about the “evil black man.” There just simply isn’t a case to made that has to do with blacks targetting white women in rapes.

      July 31, 2009 at 5:22 pm

  105. Anonymous

    Uh…OK. I gotcha. I will never believe my lyin’ eyes again. Let’s always come together to find an excuse for uncivilized components of our society, and better yet, let’s encourage them through willful blindness! I’m not just using statistics; I also have anecdotal evidence. In my “white enclave” of a major southern state university town, the neighborhoods used to be of the sort that one could leave one’s door unlocked at night.

    Fast forward to the point, around 10 years ago, that the blacks from the east side of town finally succeeded in burning down their “project” homes. The liberal city commission began moving them all to the West side into previously respectable duplexes, condos, etc.

    Shortly thereafter came the reports of rapes of white women in one of the most exclusive suburban neighborhoods in the city. In each case, the woman was accosted from out of nowhere (jogging, swimming in the central clubhouse pool) and forcibly raped by a BLACK man–even though the percentage of blacks in the neighborhood hovers around 1%.

    I’m a liberal arts educated English major and onetime English teacher who used to believe all this crap about the poor black race etc.

    As I’ve gotten older and wiser, and seen the SCIENTIFIC studies on the shortcomings of black IQ not just in America, but all of the world, well….everything that we struggle over all seems to fit into place: They are faster, much faster, and the rest of the races (white, asian, Jews) are just plain smarter–much smarter–on average, anyway.

    That’s why the dreaded “test score gap” will NEVER be breached. East Africans, as a group, simply do not possess the requisite mental “horsepower” to ever create and maintain a modern, civilized, industrial society without the guidance of outsiders.

    See Haiti.

    See Nigeria.

    See Liberia

    Etc. Etc. Etc.

    Where is the call for affirmative action in college football wide receivers and running backs????

    August 1, 2009 at 8:39 am

  106. Anonymous

    Correction: In the final paragraph, I meant to say “West,” and not “East” Africans. But Sub-Saharan would probably have been the best choice of words.

    Just don’t tell that to any of the “distinguished” professors in Afro-American studies departments who earn their keep by incorrectly informing the world that the ancient Egyptians looked just like Sub-Saharan west Africans–despite the MASSIVE mountain of scientific and DNA evidence to the contrary. Hmmmmmmm…..let’s see……we pull a 2000-year-old mummy out of it’s tomb, and it has straight, long, black hair. But no matter!
    American militant blacks NEED their Rome because it just isn’t quite satisfying to realize that one’s ancestors were perhaps one of the most primitive in the world at the time of the era of great exploration.

    There was a reason why sub-saharan Africa was mined for slaves–mostly by Muslim Africans. Why was China not exploited in the same manner? Why were there not plantations full of South Americans in the cotton belt of the South? Hmmmmmmmmmm……

    Well nevermind. Just tell me where the great shining example of black civilization exists–INDEPENDENTLY–today.. What continent? What country? What county? What city? What………….New Orleans??? Katrina and the aftermath was just a case in point. Blacks can’t take care of themselves without external help.

    True DAT

    August 1, 2009 at 10:15 am

  107. MWAH


    August 1, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    • Anonymous

      I get where you’re coming from, being a white male who has interests in black women, but for God’s sake woman, spell like you have a brain. No matter how much you believe people should accept you for who you are, if you’re not going to type correctly no one is going to take you serious.

      September 14, 2009 at 1:35 pm

  108. CyndiAnn

    What? I don’t understand how did you all go from wealthy black men marrying white women to rape??? Anyway, I think there’s too much focus being placed on race. The reason why so many black wealthy men are now marrying white…… is not just racism but classism as well. Look at Hollywood…..A listers, B listers, C listers. Not one person on this site can say that non-white women are not considered the underclass of American society, no matter how well educated,talented and beautiful we are. Hollywood will only allow a small amount of us in……So white women really compete with themselves. If there were just as many black celebutanes in Hollywood as there are white, we would not be having this discussion. The discussion would be why so many black men cheat. Black women are not nearly as connected in America’s most wealthiest circles as white women are (Some get used by black men because of that). Hell, the black man wasn’t allowed into those circles until recent years, that’s why old guys like Denzel and Samuel just to name a few are married to black women….They were with them before they became sucessful. Jada and Will came up together. If black man becomes wealthy and or famous before he gets married, he going to be in circles where the predominant women will be non-black. Many of these brothers married white women because they purposedly wanted to disconnect not just from black women but the predominately black and impoverished communities that came out of. Many of them had single mothers who suffered hard times,which might have something do with how they view black women. Then there are the black parents who decide to educate some of these men in all white schools, where they very little or no contact with black females. So marrying white to them…. Is marrying up. Marrying black to them may mean…. they are marrying down.

    August 2, 2009 at 12:38 am

  109. CyndiAnn

    To MWAH: First of of I like to say that I am a black woman who was born and raised in New Orleans,Louisiana. Yes, I was living in New Orleans when Hurricane Katrina hit…..No I was not in the Superdome. As matter fact, I left early. I got into my brand new limited edition Chrysler Jeep and drove off. The New Orleans Metro area is estimated at 450 thousand people, only 17% percent of the population stayed behind during hurricane Katrina. Those were poor black, white and asian people in Superdome……….MWAH, I not going to tell you that you’re an idiot because I’m sure people tell you that all the time. Stay in school.

    August 3, 2009 at 12:28 am

  110. Anonymous

    The African American Talent Pool
    Recruiting talented black students is limited by a simple statistical fact: There are not enough to go around. There are almost 600,000 black youngsters of high-school-senior age. Not all are college material. Most people would agree that a person with an IQ of 100 or less is not college material, and that another with an IQ of 120 is. Somewhere between is an IQ boundary, fuzzy perhaps, that separates those who can from those who can’t. An IQ of 110 is frequently cited as a minimum requirement for a bona fide bachelor’s degree. We use this threshold here.

    The distribution of IQ can tell us lots about the quality of university degrees. Approximately 43 percent of white females now earn a bachelor’s degree. This can only be so if there are degree holders with IQs as low as 103, and this is merely an upper bound. Bachelor’s degrees are almost certainly awarded to many with lower IQs. In 1997, according to Scientific American, 18 percent of 22-year-old blacks earned bachelor’s degrees. From this we can infer that degrees are awarded to people with IQs of 98. Again, this being an upper bound, we can be sure that many with IQs below 98 earn bachelor’s degrees every year.

    The distribution of IQ among African Americans peaks at about 85 with a standard deviation (SD) variously reported between 11 and 14. Using the average, 12.5, puts the college-ready IQ threshold 2 SD out from the African American mean. About 2.3 percent of blacks with the cognitive capital to earn a good degree reach this threshold. In any given year, about 13,500 African American 18-year-olds qualify. Thousands of colleges compete for them. If we divide the 13,500 African American youngsters equally among American colleges, each campus would get at most a handful.

    From the viewpoint of the meritocrat, colleges and universities face another kind of problem. There are roughly 2,600,000 non-Hispanic whites in the high school senior age cohort. With a mean IQ of 100 and a standard deviation of 15, they contribute about 650,000 to the pool of whites who meet the 110 IQ threshold. For every college-eligible black there are almost 50 eligible non-Hispanic whites. When we include Hispanics and Asians, both of whom exceed blacks cognitively, African Americans make up less than 2 percent of the college-ready pool.

    Selective colleges have the hapless task of recruiting minorities with credentials matching their white and Asian students. In fact, it is an impossible task. There are, for example, only about 1500 blacks in the age cohort with IQs of 120 or more. Though a reasonable minimum for a professional, 120 is low for an Ivy Leaguer. About 237,000 non-Hispanic whites in the age cohort meet this minimal requirement for an elite school. For each 18-year-old black with an IQ of at least 120, there are more than 150 non-Hispanic whites who reach this score. In an open competition, the minority population of the Ivy League would be less than 1 percent.

    August 3, 2009 at 9:13 am

    • Kirby

      Black Athletes, White Lovers … Do You Care?

      I just wanted to remind you if you misread the topic of this post. Just keep in mind that colleges look at SAT scores before anything IQ related, and the SATs are largely culture based which creates a sizeable bias.

      August 3, 2009 at 12:31 pm

  111. CyndiAnn

    To: Anonymous

    When the last time you had sex? lol!!!!!

    August 4, 2009 at 2:09 am

  112. farda

    How many white athletes do you see with black lovers?

    August 7, 2009 at 9:01 pm

  113. CyndiAnn

    Excellent question……You don’t.

    August 9, 2009 at 5:30 pm

  114. js

    Native American men dating blonds and whitewomen. Finally!!! Dammm right its our turn.

    August 13, 2009 at 1:31 am

  115. Amina

    It is only natural for an individual to choose a mate of his or her own ethnicity. It makes their ethnic group stronger. It is even more important for those of us who are of African descent to choose mates of our own heritage, because we are bombarded with propaganda that we are not “up to par” with other ethnic groups. Let’s keep US strong. We have all kinds of individuals in our ethnic group — if one is willing to set aside the brainwashing this society conveys!

    August 20, 2009 at 1:12 am

  116. usn73

    most of these black athletes after the game or in their private lives depending on what area they are living in or places they go
    maybe are around more white people than women or men of their own race. then some black males may have this thought in their head that a white woman is a trophy woman i dont know. i know a guy already said he was in the military stationed overseas and most of his friends were from a different ethnic background, this is true i was in the navy was on a carrier with 4500 guys and 500 females i had 6 black friend 1 mexican and 2 whites you become family with people when you are around them for long periods of time. i am not denying anything whitte man has did in the past or even some are still doing today but dont blame it on the whole white race, i am not wealthy i am not the old geezer sitting in a nicely padded chair making laws all day i am struggling to my family has always struggled (i am not the man.) there are white people here that are saying racist things and then black people here call them a racist then they say white women are ugly they get wrinkles WTF. it will never stop whites may have started the racist crap but alot of blacks are quickly catching up. i have always been attracted to women of all races, i have dated black,white and hispanic. each had their own good qualities and bad but none of them were race related. i dont believe race should matter as long as their heart and personility are good. because in the end (WE ALL) get old and wrinkles. im going to be with whomever i want i dont give a shi% what any of you think about it.

    August 21, 2009 at 5:51 pm

  117. Robert Offord

    One need look no farther than TV and the “Housewives of Atlanta” to find the true answer to this issue. Many Black Women remove themselves because of attitude, language and overall demeaner from relationships. Those that are in those relationships have degrees, jobs and do not consider themselves the next diva.

    September 3, 2009 at 8:55 pm

  118. Dr Brett Kintu

    Hi !! As an educated black man , medical doctr Phd level, I can empahise with both sides!
    However the fact of the matter is during this journey you tend to fratinise mainly with people who are white in the more elitie instituitions. This a reflection of the social economic status-quo, hence you adapt to your enviroment with it so do your views and ultimate yor taste.
    I have met very many incrediblie women of all persuasions how ever it boils down to what values you want to instil in your children irrespective of ethnecity.
    As a black evangelic christian who is of African descent my cultural and religious identity is paramount in regards to spouse and children so for dating purposes colour blind however a wife is different matter.
    When your childern ask you “who are we” that is when the evocative subject of identity hits home. That said , many women of diverse backgrounds are very flexible and can adapt . You could have a home girl with self loathing, aka skin lightening and color contact lenses of dubious origins!!!
    All in all what do you and your house/family represent to YOU!!

    September 10, 2009 at 6:03 pm

  119. Anonymous

    There is no such thing as race. It is simply a made up condition to separate us from each other. When people say race, truly all they mean is skin color. But, with in the context of our societies I believe it to be a great thing that there are “interracial” marriages.

    September 14, 2009 at 1:24 pm

  120. whocares

    this whole is really dumb… people love who they love and it doesn’t matter what they look like or what race they are we are all people

    September 14, 2009 at 5:24 pm

  121. Anonymous

    For me, the concern is always more about why is it that as soon as a black male starts making millions he no longer sees the black woman as a likely partner. In fact form my observations opver the years the black woamn is often considered a goal digger if she tries to get herself associated with them. Thats my problem. People can love who they want at any time, anywhere, any how.

    September 17, 2009 at 10:45 pm


    Without even reading all this BS!–
    1. i am an African American woman, and I will tell you If a Black, African, American, Colored or Negro man or woman loves, dates, befriends, starts a business, marries, has children, ecetera…with anyone outside their own ethnic group…THAT IS THEIR BUSINESS AND EVERYONE ESLE SHOULD MIND THEIR OUW BUSINESS.



    September 20, 2009 at 5:20 pm

    • kk

      You’re a deranged idiot.

      September 26, 2009 at 10:50 am

  123. Anonymous

    i read only one response, and i want to reply on it…could u please defend black “sisters”…come on…if the person finds the soulmate and the best friend in their significant other or life partner, do you really this about the color…i think is mostly black women cant chew the fact that sometimes the couples are mixed…so what..there are plenty more guys who they can be with, and the other couples are not hurting anyone by being together…i never heard too much talk about that topic from white people…is getting old…love and let everyone else love who they want to love 😉

    September 25, 2009 at 2:28 am

  124. Anonymous

    addition to previous..sorry I made a mistake in this sentence: could you please stop defending the black sisters..sorry…we are all love, right 🙂 what about tiger then, he is half asian half black and who know what else.and his wife is white…is there is still hate sisters? i have many black friends…bc they think out of the box just like me…but i could care less if they are with white, asian, mexican, indian, alien from mars…who cares…at the end of the day, you end up at home, in your bed, living your life…so stop hating

    September 25, 2009 at 2:33 am

  125. Erock

    First, this is not a black man condition. I am black and Dominican and many of my family members on my Dominican side idolize white women. Many of my asian friends also love white women. I don’t know if I like when the word “self-hate” is thrown around so easily. I remember as a kid (I am 45) looking at the beautiful (and they were) women on magazines, tv, movies etc and they were all white. Fortunately for me in my community there were plenty of really beautiful black and hispanic women. But it is easy to see how after looking at these images that a man of color would want to reach out and touch one of these women. Personally for me I had a period of dating white women. I noticed that I never fell in love with a white woman. It was about sex and perceived sexual differences (ok, I will say it. The prevailing attitude that white women not only performed oral sex more often but actually took pleasure in doing so and black women not so much).
    In the end both of my wives have been black hispanic matching my personal heritage and I couldn’t not see it any other way. Having said that it does absolutely nothing to me (and I wonder how other black men feel since I did not see any address this) when I see a white man with a black or hispanic woman (unless she was a woman I was trying to get with) but yet it kills black women to see a black man with a white girl. More often than not it is a black man that they probably wouldn’t give the time of day to.

    September 28, 2009 at 5:40 pm

  126. NO


    I do not tend to acknowledge people who are as low beneath me as I believe you are, thus you ought to be completely ignored.

    September 30, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    • Kirby

      I’m sorry you feel that way. Just keep an open mind and realize that you shouldn’t push away the people who genuinely encourage tolerance.

      September 30, 2009 at 7:43 pm

  127. I date White

    Black Women need to stop obsessing over Black Men. At the end of the day Black Men will go to sleep happy with their non-black mate while Black Women are complaining. There are many non-black men that will and are dating Black Women. We need to expand our dating options and find our own happiness. Besides most athletes are cheaters and beaters, do you really want a man like that. Black Men have proven time and time again that they do not want us so we need to move on. Even during the height of the Black Panther movement most of the Black Leaders had White wives and White Girlfriends now Black Women expect Black Men to fall over Black Women. It’s not going to happen because it has never happened.

    October 5, 2009 at 8:41 pm

  128. Halle

    Why does it matter so much to some, or most people (mainly black women) who’s dating who, what their race is, etc.., etc..? I mean.. Is it really any of your business what other people are doing, or who they are dating?? NO! If black men wants to date white women, THEY CAN! If white women wants to date black men, Guess what.. THEY CAN! YOU and EVERYBODY ELSE is allowed to date whoever you want. Stop worrying about what other people are doing, or who they are dating and GET YOUR OWN LIFE AND YOUR OWN MAN! Who are you to judge others about what they’re doing, or WHO they are doing??? You’re NOT God! you don’t have the right to judge others, (atleast you’re not suppose to) REALIZE THAT,UNDERSTAND THAT! Just b/c some black men date white women doesn’t mean they hate their own race, or black women. So stop thinkin that. I know a GOOD black man, who is fine (OMG!:) athletic, decent, SUCCESSFUL, very respectful, loving, and he’s got swagger, etc.. The point is he’s a good man, and he’s married to a white woman, and she is very SUCCESSFUL herself, and Beautiful, and she’s a good woman. And they don’t even have any kids together yet, but plan to one day. But he doesn’t hate his mother, sister, or any black woman, he doesn’t hate nobody. He is inlove with this woman (who is WHITE) and she is inlove with this man (who is BLACK). Not all black men and white women date eachother for the wrong reasons. Love has no color ya’ll! And there is so much more to people than just their race, color, appearance. Race/Ethnicity/color should NOT be an issue.SO GET OVER IT!!!!!

    October 7, 2009 at 5:28 am

  129. Mya

    @Erock, There’s nothin wrong with having good sex. And NOT all white women give “head”. And there are plenty of black women who does give “head”, Alot of them just won’t admit to it. But, In SC more black women are known to give “head” than any other race, and they seem to be proud of it too. Just come to SC, and you’ll see what I mean, TRUST ME!

    October 7, 2009 at 5:34 am

  130. Anonymous

    this website is a joke! black people always say that white people descriminate against them. GOD forbid we have white entertainment television, but BET is just fine. stop being hypocritical

    October 7, 2009 at 6:10 pm

  131. Halle

    “this website is a joke! black people always say that white people descriminate against them. GOD forbid we have white entertainment television, but BET is just fine. stop being hypocritical” -Anonymous

    ^^^^^ I know, Right! SMH

    October 7, 2009 at 10:32 pm

  132. Micaheala Reed

    Yaaaaaaaawn. Yet another White/Black non-issue masquerading as a ligitimate discussion. Date who you want no matter what your and their ethnic backgrounds. Be happy and to heck with anyone who sees your color before they see you as a person.

    October 14, 2009 at 6:49 am

  133. jetman

    Don’t mess up the race!!! Doesn’t matter,black&white or white&black

    October 19, 2009 at 3:51 pm

  134. ashley smith

    I’m a white female and I am mainly attracted to black males. However, I am no goldigger, I have plenty of my own money. This is a ridiculous debate. To all the ignorant people who believe that race really matters, stop living in the past, you are missing out… on some good sex lol… And to those that are embracing the future, way to be ahead! Now i have to go to sleep next to my sexy milk chocolate boyfriend.

    October 20, 2009 at 5:56 am

  135. Howcum it’s always about “Black & White”? What’s wrong with you [us] Americans and your damned false dilemmas?

    Who me? I’m a 3/4 American Indian and here is what my Potawatomi grandmother used to say to me: “Sonny, don’t ever marry an Indian. Why? Because the White man has killed so many of us, those of us left are all related.” The same goes for my 1/4 Micronesian blood.

    October 22, 2009 at 9:44 pm

  136. ANALULU

    STOP HATING on these people who have way better lives than you…and get your own life, pathetic assholes.

    October 26, 2009 at 6:41 am

  137. Anonymous

    Now I do not have a problem with people who date outside their race, but I do have a problem with people who try to make excuses as to why they date that particular race. I don’t think that most white people understand our culture, to fully understand, why blacks have the issues we have. I think if they took the time to understand, rather than sweeping it under the rug, then maybe we can move foward. As far as blacks,I get tired of hearing after the relationship does not work out with a black woman, she is “ghetto, a bitch, and etc…” However,while you were dating her, she was your world.

    It really bothers me when I hear black men speak so negatively about black women trying to educate herself, expose her to culture, and stands up for herself and demands respect. If we date someone with a higher income, we are classified as being gold diggers. Are we only good enough for blue collar workers or street pharmacuaticals?

    Some white women stalk the practices, clubs, and social events where most rich men are at, and they are looked at as being lucky and classy; but never once are displayed as being gold diggers!!!

    It really bothers me when I watch television, they try to protray white women as the most beautiful image. Every time I see Paris or Kim or Jessica Alba, they expose them as being the most beautiful thing seen on tv. When it comes to black women, the only type they promote is Halle Barry, sometimes Gabrielle Union, and very little of Queen Latifah. If we do see someone like the ordinary woman, she is promoting Pine Sol!!!

    Said part, many white women talk about the features of black women, but spend lots of money to like just us!!!

    So is it a cultural issue or is it a racial issue?

    October 31, 2009 at 9:48 pm

  138. Amanda

    On the picture of Venus, the caption asks “where’s her king?” Her king is right there next to her! People can date, love, and marry whomever they choose; nobody has the right to judge their choices! I am a white female with a black fiance, and we perfect for each other in every way. If someone told him, you MUST date a black girl because you are black, he would have missed out on meeting the love of his life! Love is blind, and interracial couples do not deserve ignorant judgment.

    November 4, 2009 at 1:25 am

  139. balck_man23

    Black atheltes date women they are naturally attracted to. Its not their problem that she (majority of her cases) happens to be white!
    There is nothing in the law that prevents them from doing this.

    On the flip side i do accept your sentiments on them being in “love”. In my opinion this is just a form of prostitution were an otherwise talentless woman gets media exposure/column inches which in turn might help her secure a future in sowbiz!

    November 4, 2009 at 7:03 pm

  140. Jacque

    This is post is offensive.. Why are you making suck a big deal about skin color.. If two people come together and love one another why does it matter what color they are? You said “He just cannot understand how these athletes are raised in Black neighborhoods, attend Black (k – 12) Schools, worship in Black Churches then go off and leave Black Women behind.” Leave them behind? You make it sound like people NEED to date/marry w/ in their own race.. I really thought I lived in a world where people are free to be themselves and love who we want to love w/o being judged.. This post makes me feel like we’ve taken a step back..

    November 16, 2009 at 3:15 am

    • AMP

      Jacque – read the post before you claim it to be offensive. The post asks you if YOU care. It doesn’t say that YOU should care.

      We do appreciate your comment.

      November 16, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    • damnshame

      Because black people’s survival and future depend on it? What the hell is wrong with you? If every black person marries interracially, what happens to black people? They are assimilated right, just like the Natives?

      September 23, 2012 at 7:20 pm

  141. nonamefornow

    Guess what, its to the point now that all ANYONE wants is someone who is sane, non-addicted, ambitious, respectful and loves the h*ll out of them (w/limits). I am a Beautiful Black Woman and though I have never dated out of my race, I am going to broaden my perception and start being open to other races for dating. I LOVE Black Men, but maybe my happiness will be with someone of a different color. Who knows and it would be stupid of any single person of any race in 2009 to put limits on who they would date.As long as they had a DEEP tan, why not consider the potentials.

    Just a note: that’s the 3rd European person (EuroGal) in the last 3 weeks Ive heard make racist remarks towards Black Americans and even White Americans. Ive never been to Europe, but have met a few Europeans and none of them seem to have such arrogance and hate as those people.

    November 16, 2009 at 10:41 pm

  142. victoria

    I understand that this is still a topic of interest and still met with much hostility. You made an insightful point on the issue, unfortunately not to slam your cousin, but he still has a backwards view. The point of equality is acceptance and in order to progress in a society that has for a long time been bounded by segregation ,so why fight fire with fire. We don’t live in the 1950’s anymore or by restrictions which minorities have fought so stongly to derail so why try to impose prejudice views when people fought so hard to abolish it. As long as people try to play the victim card change will not come, because you simply cannot convince stubborn ignorant people otherwise. I feel strongly about the topic at hand and to be frank am extremely tired of this stigma againest interracial dating, I am a Hispanic woman who is dating a Black man, he used to played football all throughout college. Contrary to the belief, I don’t only find black males attractive, have previously only dated hispanics, am also concerned about preserving my own culture and did not persuade or manipulate my signifigant other, he persued me. Basically, those who are simply and uneducated and ignorant will always find some sort of opposition and will never be satisfied with the FREEDOM that entitles us to live the way we chose, essentially they are being hypocritical, why try establishing segregation when the very same people fought to abolish it. …

    November 20, 2009 at 7:24 am

  143. theobbvious

    Can I please bring it to everyone’s attention that Kim Kardashian is not white? She is definitely an ethnic woman of Armenian descent. Also, Teresa, pictured with her hubby from the NBA, is an Indian woman born in Trinidad (wow, also not white!). In the photo below, Venus Williams, also a non-white person is featured. Sorry to say that all of these cases are not what they seem. Plus, ethnic girls are almost always hotter than a pure white girl.

    November 30, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    • damnshame

      Armenians are a Eurasian people and a former Soviet block country. For all intents and purposes they are very much white. And while Indians are not white, they are not fucking black either.

      September 23, 2012 at 7:22 pm

  144. What happened to all the pictures of the interracial couples you had with this posting?

    December 7, 2009 at 9:49 pm

  145. Anonymous

    Does it matter who people feel the need to data ? I’ll say no ! But what is important is how people viwe and treat each onther in this life ! write some thing like this if a man shold dies can he live agane !

    January 14, 2010 at 6:26 am

  146. we are all just people. same species. capable of mating. life is beautiful around the world! love knows no boundaries. this topic is so simple, yet fueled by such ignorance.

    January 23, 2010 at 5:35 pm

  147. mikel keith

    no it is the media that always portrays white women as great and over hyped,and special,so as a young black man watching tv,thats all you see,and you never see beautiful black women on tv,or modeling,and white woman seem to be more proactive and confindence,that black woman,they have more oppurtunity than youn black women,finacially,so men are attracted to it,not just black men,plus how soon we forget black women,date white men through out history because of there power and athurotiy,and black men were hung for even looking at a white girl

    January 25, 2010 at 3:12 pm

  148. Karl

    Why should a person have a partner the same race just because he/she is rich/famous? The above mentioned people have obviously found someone they have become attracted to and makes them happy.
    I am absolutely sure that you would be disgusted if you read an article that was written in a similar manner to this one about white “celebrities” dating black people.
    Racism should be extinguished, not fueled with senseless articles like this one.

    January 26, 2010 at 8:47 am

    • Kirby

      I think you misunderstood what the author was saying. To eliminate racism, we must have discussions like this where we can look at the issue of interracial dating and question things as why athletes seem to date out of their race when statistics show that people predominantly marry/date within their own race. Read the entire article, I think you’ll realize the author agrees with you.

      January 26, 2010 at 11:37 am

      • karl

        I disagree. Look at the whole spectrum of black celebrities/athletes. It’s not as if all black males who reach celebrity status choose to be with a female from a different race. On the contrary, the vast majority are with partners of the same race. It is therefore not fair to alienate the few who choose to be with someone of a different race just because they get the opportunity to do so.

        January 26, 2010 at 12:08 pm

  149. Kirby

    You mention an interesting point which was actually brought up earlier. How many black athletes/celebrities date outside their own race? And how does that compare to the ‘regular’ population?

    Also, not sure what you mean when you say we shouldn’t alienate the few who choose to be with someone of a different race because they have the opportunity to. We all have that opportunity, not just celebrities or athletes. You sort of illustrated the point of the article. Why are athletes and celebrities seen as “having the opportunity” when we all do?

    January 26, 2010 at 2:37 pm

  150. karl

    “Also, not sure what you mean when you say we shouldn’t alienate the few who choose to be with someone of a different race because they have the opportunity to”. I’m saying that it is not fair to criticize someone for their choices just because of race.

    We do not all have these opportunities. Are you telling me that these guys would be dating these girls if they were not stars?

    January 26, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    • Kirby

      My fault, I thought you were saying they didn’t have the opportunity to date outside of their race. That is more of an issue of classism if anything that you bring up.

      And I agree, it absolutely isn’t fair to criticize someone for their choices just because of their race, but the article isn’t criticizing those choices. It’s absolutely a valid question when the black community, like most races, stresses marriage within the race and then these stars/celebrities listed above are marrying/dating other races.

      Does it matter that they are dating/marrying outside of the race? No. But it is still an interesting question when our country is so heavily racialized.

      January 26, 2010 at 3:56 pm

      • karl

        I wasn’t really criticizing the article, just the fact that such a subject is so hotly debated. But yes I do agree that it is interesting.

        January 26, 2010 at 4:55 pm

  151. jas

    Very informative website

    February 3, 2010 at 11:44 am

  152. TeSSie

    It doesn’t bug me at all. Be with who you love. What does bug me, is black men angrily bashing all black women. That’s not fair to us, and is straight up ignorant.

    February 8, 2010 at 10:04 am

  153. laura

    that’s because black women are ghetto and mean! whats the problem? white women are beautiful and NICE….

    February 13, 2010 at 11:41 pm

  154. lAura


    February 13, 2010 at 11:43 pm

  155. hank

    this is the smallest most insignificant matter! its 2010 leave these men and women alone. stop the jealousy. just because they have a white women in their bed doesn’t mean they resepct black women/men any less. think about it, they have black friends teammates and family. We all have preferences. The black women on this site sound like biting haters…and you wonder why they dont want yo ass hahahahaha calm it down. how about something important like world hunger or war or haiti…but kim kardashian we only glorify them. i refuse.

    February 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm

  156. Wow! The emotion that this topic stirs is amazing. I am a black male who finds Caucasian women extremely attractive. I won’t reinvent the wheel here. I will however, respond to those posts that make me go hmmmmm.
    eurogal: My preference, the media and this country’s history would seem to give merit to your views. Realistically, you’re heavily biased.
    Kirby: In my opinion, YOU ARE THE MAN!!
    Toni: If a black woman overlooks me because she doesn’t date black men, that’s not about me because she hasn’t dated me. Black women would benefit from adapting this view. It allows me to not waste negative energy on someone else’s right to believe, feel & decide what’s best for them. I believe it would serve them the same sense of peace.
    Karl: I could be wrong, but it seems that you view any racially charge conversation as racism that should not be discussed. Communication & honesty are the cornerstone to what I think you truly believe.
    laura: Your view is an inductive fallacy as well as a hasty generalization; meaning you have come to a conclusion with limited or insufficient evidence. Not ALL black women are mean & ghetto and not ALL white women are beautiful & nice.
    ashley smith: progressive with a hint of humor – enjoyed your comment.
    Halle: One should first attempt to understand the history of what was once allowed or should I say denied “Black Folk” in this country before accessing a mild-stone as hypocritical. BET is only “1” channel, yet in the history of television all other channels seemed to cater to predominantly white audiences.
    Keepitblackandreal: I’m curious, what are your views on the Africans that sold our people to the white man?
    18yearoldNorwegiangirl: It would have be an amazing blessing if our country’s history didn’t incur some of the views you read in this blog. I would love to visit your country some day.
    Becky: YOU GO GIRL!!! Intelligently well done.
    Dr. G: It is with your comment to keepitblackandreal that I end my feedback to those that caught my attention. Rarely (in a blog or msg board) do I get the pleasure of reading an educated, ASSERTIVE and well spoken “comeback” void of anger, sarcasm and self indulgence. Who knows, maybe I’ll come across your views on some other post on the world wide web.
    ~Peace, Love & Happiness to Everyone~

    April 8, 2010 at 5:50 pm

  157. Catalina

    Do you all want world peace? Do you all want equality? Why do you feel the need to question others decisions.. If they are happy then I don’t see what the big issue is.. Maybe they just felt a connection? Maybe they just get along well? Maybe it has NOTHING to do with the colour of eachothers skin.. Maybe it’s just a coincidence that the person they fell in love with, happens to NOT be an African girl.. And is that really such a big deal?

    Your cousin obviously has a preference of dating African women.. So although he may not understand why these athletes are dating white women maybe it is just THEIR preference, everyone is different and has different tastes..

    And what kind of people can say ‘white girls are prettier than black girls’.. Are you serious.. I’m white yet I don’t believe that for a second.. I see gorgeous black girls ALL THE TIME.. My boyfriend of two years is African and i’m Australian and honestly I believe the fact that he is dating a white girl has nothing to do with him going against his own race.. I always feel like i’m being judged, I get dirty looks from black AND white people when i’m out with my boyfriend.. All I have to say is if you are judging somebody, that you don’t even know, based on their race then I feel really sorry for you!

    April 13, 2010 at 1:44 am

  158. michelle

    just a quick note, teresa lourenco is not white…she was born in Trinidad in the caribbean, moved to Germany where she has been modelling since the age of 14 for very famous designers…so its not a paycheck as one person said…considering she has her own $$. Also, ppl can date whomever they want…its not the white girls fault and not the black women’s either…no one should have a problem. Black women have no problem dating white men especially when they are rich, therefore black women should not have a problem when white women do the same. Stop feeling so threatened and ask yourself what could you do to better yourself as a person and stop caring about who these ppl date!

    April 26, 2010 at 8:46 am

  159. If you ladies want to stop complaining for a minute…. White women will compete’ Will you? Demanding does nothing. Step your game up!

    May 24, 2010 at 5:46 pm

  160. Brooke

    Women are beautiful in general. Ethnicity leads to some differences in looks, but we are all human beings. The differences are subtle… I mean how different do we really look from each other? I find it hard to believe that one race can be argued to be more beautiful than another. There are ranges of beauty within each race. As far as black athletes dating white women, why not? For every interracial couple there have to be a couple black athletes dating black women. These couples are overlooked though, mainly because people make such a fuss about interracial dating. Let people date who they want. Let them be happy – if they are content, does there really need to be a discussion about it? Society needs to appreciate the beauty of women and the freedom of choice.

    May 30, 2010 at 9:11 am

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  162. john

    I can’t believe this thread is still going in 2010! Fixating on race in this day and age? Are you kidding me? If you are debating color now now matter what side you are on YOU ARE IN FACT PART OF THE PROBLEM AND BEING RACIST.

    I have no issues with any color dating, marrying, and hopefully loving any other and to still make this a issue shows how far many need to come. Open your eyes people we are all humans trying to live and enjoy life. It doesn’t matter if your black, white, yellow, brown, get over yourselves.

    July 3, 2010 at 9:31 am

  163. Anonymous

    are you so insecure in your own skin that you must capitalize “black man”?

    August 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm

  164. Acappellla

    Race will always be an issue. Sorry to disappoint but its just the truth. Whether its 2010 or 3010 people will always find a way to discriminate or think one is better than the other. All a person can do is keep THEIR OWN selves in check! Before you call someone a racist, do you’re own research beyond what YOU think. People may be a victim of their upbringing and environments. If a Black or White person male or female is brought up to think White is better, then ultimately they will covet that. Just because they don’t say it doesn’t mean they don’t believe it.

    August 9, 2010 at 11:00 pm

    • damnshame

      Listen, it’s about black people’s history and survival and future. If blacks marry interracially, we dilute our own heritage and genetics. We will soon cease to exist like the Natives. Our talents will be absorbed by whites. Just so you’re aware, most of the world is racist. Europeans do not like blacks nor do Asians. Both these countries are of primarily one race. Stop kidding yourself and wake up.

      September 23, 2012 at 7:24 pm

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  166. philipjones

    Sadly, one of the most glossed over facts of American life (as it relates to black athletes) is that their “professional status” often causes them to forget who they are and where they came from — denial, denial, denial!!!
    I know several NFL and NBA athletes who engaged in sex with other guys during their teenage and college years but don’t want the experience to touch them now. And a few of them are still involved in very discreet relationships.
    Even more sadly, the American system of socialization has not yet accepted what nature occasionally calls for, despite huge social taboos. Perhaps the time will come when all of us can honestly admit the people and things that tug at our heartstrings — and learn to live with the results, not the consequences.

    December 29, 2010 at 10:06 pm

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  170. Love has no color

    Athletes tend to stray away because for decades, that’s what they have been seeing on tv with the former athletes. I personally don’t care, I don’t want them and its some of them that white women need to take. Follow your heart not the lightest skin. Besides, they get involved with these women and get in a world of trouble. Assault charges, Rape charges, Divorce and then they get mad when they are sitting in jail behind the “trophy wife.” Its actually funny, so let them give away their life back to the oppressing race. Barack should be the spokesman for these athletes. Love is deep when you and your spouse can grow together and the other person isn’t a gold digger. Good luck to them. They will need it, lol look at Kobe.

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  173. FirstBlackLaddieBrett1953

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  174. FirstBlackLaddieBrett1953

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    January 22, 2012 at 3:22 pm

  175. Felishia

    There has to be more to it. I also went off to college and for the first time had white frirnds and even cohabitated with them in dorms. it was a culture shock, I agree. Most of Afrocan American students joined Black frats, went to BSU meetings, and so on. But there were always a few for s ome reason fought for a spot in the Big House, it was not enough to have White friends they needed to only have white friends and discarded their own. It happened on both ends. Usually white girls who hung out with only Black chics and dated only Black guys.

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  179. damnshame

    I’m a black man and I am tired of these discussions around black identity and self-hate always degenerating into threads filled with white people saying, “Hey we’re all the same!”. Hey, we’re not. And plenty of racist whites remind me so all over the internet. They say blacks are inferior, that even we think so because our most successful choose whites over their own kind. And while I disagree that we are inferior, I am forced to concede that there are self-hating athletes who forget all about black people whenever they start making money. They succumb to this false “world love” nonsense that whites tell them. Meanwhile, we have (American) conservatives attacking us at every turn. We have all of Eastern Europe hating us, including Western European countries like Spain hate us; Asia despises black people as well.The South (US) and all those racists on YouTube would see us bred out of existence. So this chat, this interracial dating problem we have which causes friction and disunity within our own people, needs to be had. Between us, for us.

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